If you’re like most parents, you hope your child will learn to be honest, self-confident, kind and more. Do you also teach them to honor commitments? This is an important part of character.
Scenarios
Consider possible situations your child could come across:
- They made plans with a friend. Another friend calls and invites them to an event on that same day. They want to cancel the original plans so they can go on the special outing.
- They asked you to sign them up for karate. On the day of the first class, they tell you they changed their mind and don’t want to go.
- They pleaded for a puppy with the promise to feed and walk it. After the first week, caring for the puppy is your job.
- They tried out for and made the team. After a week of practices, they want to quit.
The scenarios are endless, but the underlying theme remains the same. What would you do in the above circumstances? To teach your child to honor a commitment, you might:
- Not allow them to break their original plans.
- Insist that they try the karate class for a certain number of weeks. Then re-visit their desire not to go.
- Remind them of their promise. Tie certain privileges to caring for the puppy. For example, they can watch TV or play a video game after walking the dog.
- Encourage your child to stick with it for the rest of the season. Perhaps they could ask the coach what to do to get in better shape to handle practices.
Conflicting desires
You want your child to be happy. So why keep them in an activity they don’t enjoy? You can help them find activities they enjoy and will likely commit to. Before agreeing to enlist your child in a sport, music lesson, scouts, etc., think it through and talk it through with them.
Parents can also:
- Find lessons and activities that offer free trials or introductory sessions.
- Ask if your child can visit a scout meeting, dance class, etc. as a guest of a friend.
- Limit the number of activities your child is involved in during the week. Allowing a child to over commit increases family stress as well as the odds of having to break commitments.
- Talk with your child about the activity or special plans they wish to participate in. Set clear expectations from the beginning. Decide how long they must participate, terms for “quitting,” and whatever else you believe is fair and responsible.
Model the trait
Honor your own commitments. If your child hears you cancel plans for better ones, you can’t expect them to behave differently. Also, take special care with the promises you make to your child. Work hard to keep special “dates” and plans you make with them.
When it comes to big commitments such as marriage, family, job contracts, etc., let your child see you giving your best effort to make things work. Of course there will be challenges and sometimes failure. But a child who sees their parents give their all learns that you don’t have to quit at the first sign of trouble.
Exceptions
Expect that your child will not be perfect and plan to forgive them for an occasional failure to keep a commitment. You also need to recognize times when an agreement simply must be broken. Some possibilities are:
- Changes in your child’s health
- Abuse, bullying or other unacceptable behavior from the instructor or other participants
- A crisis in the family
- Any unusual circumstance that, in your best judgment, warrants breaking the commitment
Keep in mind that some kids may pressure themselves not to quit. Teach your child that it’s OK to give up an activity if they gave it an honest effort. Instead of failure, that should be regarded as an opportunity to grow.
If you’re like most parents, you hope your child will learn to be honest, self-confident, kind and more. Do you also teach them to honor commitments? This is an important part of character.
Scenarios
Consider possible situations your child could come across:
- They made plans with a friend. Another friend calls and invites them to an event on that same day. They want to cancel the original plans so they can go on the special outing.
- They asked you to sign them up for karate. On the day of the first class, they tell you they changed their mind and don’t want to go.
- They pleaded for a puppy with the promise to feed and walk it. After the first week, caring for the puppy is your job.
- They tried out for and made the team. After a week of practices, they want to quit.
The scenarios are endless, but the underlying theme remains the same. What would you do in the above circumstances? To teach your child to honor a commitment, you might:
- Not allow them to break their original plans.
- Insist that they try the karate class for a certain number of weeks. Then re-visit their desire not to go.
- Remind them of their promise. Tie certain privileges to caring for the puppy. For example, they can watch TV or play a video game after walking the dog.
- Encourage your child to stick with it for the rest of the season. Perhaps they could ask the coach what to do to get in better shape to handle practices.
Conflicting desires
You want your child to be happy. So why keep them in an activity they don’t enjoy? You can help them find activities they enjoy and will likely commit to. Before agreeing to enlist your child in a sport, music lesson, scouts, etc., think it through and talk it through with them.
Parents can also:
- Find lessons and activities that offer free trials or introductory sessions.
- Ask if your child can visit a scout meeting, dance class, etc. as a guest of a friend.
- Limit the number of activities your child is involved in during the week. Allowing a child to over commit increases family stress as well as the odds of having to break commitments.
- Talk with your child about the activity or special plans they wish to participate in. Set clear expectations from the beginning. Decide how long they must participate, terms for “quitting,” and whatever else you believe is fair and responsible.
Model the trait
Honor your own commitments. If your child hears you cancel plans for better ones, you can’t expect them to behave differently. Also, take special care with the promises you make to your child. Work hard to keep special “dates” and plans you make with them.
When it comes to big commitments such as marriage, family, job contracts, etc., let your child see you giving your best effort to make things work. Of course there will be challenges and sometimes failure. But a child who sees their parents give their all learns that you don’t have to quit at the first sign of trouble.
Exceptions
Expect that your child will not be perfect and plan to forgive them for an occasional failure to keep a commitment. You also need to recognize times when an agreement simply must be broken. Some possibilities are:
- Changes in your child’s health
- Abuse, bullying or other unacceptable behavior from the instructor or other participants
- A crisis in the family
- Any unusual circumstance that, in your best judgment, warrants breaking the commitment
Keep in mind that some kids may pressure themselves not to quit. Teach your child that it’s OK to give up an activity if they gave it an honest effort. Instead of failure, that should be regarded as an opportunity to grow.
If you’re like most parents, you hope your child will learn to be honest, self-confident, kind and more. Do you also teach them to honor commitments? This is an important part of character.
Scenarios
Consider possible situations your child could come across:
- They made plans with a friend. Another friend calls and invites them to an event on that same day. They want to cancel the original plans so they can go on the special outing.
- They asked you to sign them up for karate. On the day of the first class, they tell you they changed their mind and don’t want to go.
- They pleaded for a puppy with the promise to feed and walk it. After the first week, caring for the puppy is your job.
- They tried out for and made the team. After a week of practices, they want to quit.
The scenarios are endless, but the underlying theme remains the same. What would you do in the above circumstances? To teach your child to honor a commitment, you might:
- Not allow them to break their original plans.
- Insist that they try the karate class for a certain number of weeks. Then re-visit their desire not to go.
- Remind them of their promise. Tie certain privileges to caring for the puppy. For example, they can watch TV or play a video game after walking the dog.
- Encourage your child to stick with it for the rest of the season. Perhaps they could ask the coach what to do to get in better shape to handle practices.
Conflicting desires
You want your child to be happy. So why keep them in an activity they don’t enjoy? You can help them find activities they enjoy and will likely commit to. Before agreeing to enlist your child in a sport, music lesson, scouts, etc., think it through and talk it through with them.
Parents can also:
- Find lessons and activities that offer free trials or introductory sessions.
- Ask if your child can visit a scout meeting, dance class, etc. as a guest of a friend.
- Limit the number of activities your child is involved in during the week. Allowing a child to over commit increases family stress as well as the odds of having to break commitments.
- Talk with your child about the activity or special plans they wish to participate in. Set clear expectations from the beginning. Decide how long they must participate, terms for “quitting,” and whatever else you believe is fair and responsible.
Model the trait
Honor your own commitments. If your child hears you cancel plans for better ones, you can’t expect them to behave differently. Also, take special care with the promises you make to your child. Work hard to keep special “dates” and plans you make with them.
When it comes to big commitments such as marriage, family, job contracts, etc., let your child see you giving your best effort to make things work. Of course there will be challenges and sometimes failure. But a child who sees their parents give their all learns that you don’t have to quit at the first sign of trouble.
Exceptions
Expect that your child will not be perfect and plan to forgive them for an occasional failure to keep a commitment. You also need to recognize times when an agreement simply must be broken. Some possibilities are:
- Changes in your child’s health
- Abuse, bullying or other unacceptable behavior from the instructor or other participants
- A crisis in the family
- Any unusual circumstance that, in your best judgment, warrants breaking the commitment
Keep in mind that some kids may pressure themselves not to quit. Teach your child that it’s OK to give up an activity if they gave it an honest effort. Instead of failure, that should be regarded as an opportunity to grow.