What Makes Love Last?

Posted Aug 21, 2017

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Summary

  • Enjoy spending time together.
  • Treat each other with respect.
  • Work through disagreements.  

Some matches seem made in heaven. But it’s a mix of factors here on earth that keeps couples together. Compatibility, mutual respect, and fighting fairly each play an important role in a loving and fulfilling partnership.

Compatibility

A long-lasting partnership begins with a solid foundation. You and your partner should be compatible in the following ways:

  • You like the same things. You don’t have to be carbon copies of each other, but you should have some interests in common. Sharing activities that you both enjoy will strengthen your bond over time.
  • You have the same priorities. Working toward the same goals makes you a team. If your goals are different—say one of you wants a family and the other wants to focus on a career—you will have a conflict.
  • You share the same values. This is a big one because beliefs and values tells us who we are and give our lives purpose. Having the same values as your partner reinforces your identity as a couple and strengthens your relationship.

Mutual respect

Respect means accepting and appreciating each other as unique individuals. When there’s respect in a relationship:

  • You and your partner see each other as equals.
  • You can disagree without feeling threatened because you know that won’t change the love you and your partner share. 
  • You feel free to be yourself because you know your partner loves you for who you are. Neither you nor your partner try to change yourself into what you think the other wants.
  • You trust one another and give one another time and space apart, when needed. 

Fighting fairly

No couple agrees on everything all the time. But couples in healthy relationships know how the other thinks and feels, which helps them to get through disagreements. No one feels misunderstood. In a strong relationship, couples work through their differences by:

  • Talking through the issue in a way that respects the other’s feelings and opinions. You don’t try to prove the other wrong or make each other feel bad. Rather, you work together to solve the problem.
  • Letting go of a disagreement. Sometimes, it’s best to agree to disagree. Of course, this isn’t possible with everything. But couples with healthy relationships will let go of the smaller things.
  • Finding a compromise that leaves you both feeling good about the outcome.
  • Communicating openly about your feelings and keeping each other up-to-date on what’s going on in your lives can prevent disagreements and misunderstandings from happening in the first place. So keep talking! 
By Sharron Luttrell, Military OneSource. Used with permission.
Source: www.psychologytoday.com

Summary

  • Enjoy spending time together.
  • Treat each other with respect.
  • Work through disagreements.  

Some matches seem made in heaven. But it’s a mix of factors here on earth that keeps couples together. Compatibility, mutual respect, and fighting fairly each play an important role in a loving and fulfilling partnership.

Compatibility

A long-lasting partnership begins with a solid foundation. You and your partner should be compatible in the following ways:

  • You like the same things. You don’t have to be carbon copies of each other, but you should have some interests in common. Sharing activities that you both enjoy will strengthen your bond over time.
  • You have the same priorities. Working toward the same goals makes you a team. If your goals are different—say one of you wants a family and the other wants to focus on a career—you will have a conflict.
  • You share the same values. This is a big one because beliefs and values tells us who we are and give our lives purpose. Having the same values as your partner reinforces your identity as a couple and strengthens your relationship.

Mutual respect

Respect means accepting and appreciating each other as unique individuals. When there’s respect in a relationship:

  • You and your partner see each other as equals.
  • You can disagree without feeling threatened because you know that won’t change the love you and your partner share. 
  • You feel free to be yourself because you know your partner loves you for who you are. Neither you nor your partner try to change yourself into what you think the other wants.
  • You trust one another and give one another time and space apart, when needed. 

Fighting fairly

No couple agrees on everything all the time. But couples in healthy relationships know how the other thinks and feels, which helps them to get through disagreements. No one feels misunderstood. In a strong relationship, couples work through their differences by:

  • Talking through the issue in a way that respects the other’s feelings and opinions. You don’t try to prove the other wrong or make each other feel bad. Rather, you work together to solve the problem.
  • Letting go of a disagreement. Sometimes, it’s best to agree to disagree. Of course, this isn’t possible with everything. But couples with healthy relationships will let go of the smaller things.
  • Finding a compromise that leaves you both feeling good about the outcome.
  • Communicating openly about your feelings and keeping each other up-to-date on what’s going on in your lives can prevent disagreements and misunderstandings from happening in the first place. So keep talking! 
By Sharron Luttrell, Military OneSource. Used with permission.
Source: www.psychologytoday.com

Summary

  • Enjoy spending time together.
  • Treat each other with respect.
  • Work through disagreements.  

Some matches seem made in heaven. But it’s a mix of factors here on earth that keeps couples together. Compatibility, mutual respect, and fighting fairly each play an important role in a loving and fulfilling partnership.

Compatibility

A long-lasting partnership begins with a solid foundation. You and your partner should be compatible in the following ways:

  • You like the same things. You don’t have to be carbon copies of each other, but you should have some interests in common. Sharing activities that you both enjoy will strengthen your bond over time.
  • You have the same priorities. Working toward the same goals makes you a team. If your goals are different—say one of you wants a family and the other wants to focus on a career—you will have a conflict.
  • You share the same values. This is a big one because beliefs and values tells us who we are and give our lives purpose. Having the same values as your partner reinforces your identity as a couple and strengthens your relationship.

Mutual respect

Respect means accepting and appreciating each other as unique individuals. When there’s respect in a relationship:

  • You and your partner see each other as equals.
  • You can disagree without feeling threatened because you know that won’t change the love you and your partner share. 
  • You feel free to be yourself because you know your partner loves you for who you are. Neither you nor your partner try to change yourself into what you think the other wants.
  • You trust one another and give one another time and space apart, when needed. 

Fighting fairly

No couple agrees on everything all the time. But couples in healthy relationships know how the other thinks and feels, which helps them to get through disagreements. No one feels misunderstood. In a strong relationship, couples work through their differences by:

  • Talking through the issue in a way that respects the other’s feelings and opinions. You don’t try to prove the other wrong or make each other feel bad. Rather, you work together to solve the problem.
  • Letting go of a disagreement. Sometimes, it’s best to agree to disagree. Of course, this isn’t possible with everything. But couples with healthy relationships will let go of the smaller things.
  • Finding a compromise that leaves you both feeling good about the outcome.
  • Communicating openly about your feelings and keeping each other up-to-date on what’s going on in your lives can prevent disagreements and misunderstandings from happening in the first place. So keep talking! 
By Sharron Luttrell, Military OneSource. Used with permission.
Source: www.psychologytoday.com

The information provided on the Achieve Solutions site, including, but not limited to, articles, quizzes, and other general information, is for informational purposes only and should not be treated as medical, health care, psychiatric, psychological or behavioral health care advice. Nothing contained on the Achieve Solutions site is intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment or as a substitute for consultation with a qualified health care professional. Please direct questions regarding the operation of the Achieve Solutions site to Web Feedback. If you have concerns about your health, please contact your health care provider.  ©2017 Beacon Health Options, Inc.

 

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