Summary
- Be gentle with yourself during difficult times.
- Be aware that special days may be difficult.
- Participate in rituals that may provide soothing comfort.
The anniversary of a painful event may cause you to have an increase in stressful feelings. Anniversary reactions can range from feeling mildly upset to more extreme mental or physical health symptoms.
During this time it is important to take care of yourself and to watch out for signs that you need help.
Be aware that special days may be difficult. It’s pretty common for some stress and other emotional responses you had to the original event to come back around anniversary time. Recognizing this fact may help you not to be so hard on yourself. For many people, anniversaries and special days remind them of the impact a disaster has had on them. You may start anticipating the anniversary (or a birthday or other day of special significance in the life of a loved one you have lost) for several days, weeks or even months before. Not having your loved one or friend to share the day, your old home, apartment, neighborhood, job or co-worker—all can be difficult. It’s normal to have fears and concerns about how the anniversary or special day will make you feel.
Don’t worry if you are not experiencing any difficult feelings or emotions. This is normal too. Some people feel increased emotions pre-anniversary while others feel more emotions after the day, or not at all. Just remember that whatever you are feeling is okay. It’s only when your emotions start to interfere with your day-to-day functioning that you may want to consider reaching out for help.
Be gentle with yourself during difficult times. These times include not only the anniversary of the event itself, but other dates that are related, such as birthdays of friends you have lost, anniversaries of your wedding to a spouse you have lost, etc. Treat yourself with the same kindness you give to others.
Participate in rituals that may provide soothing comfort. Whatever those rituals are—exercise; lighting candles; mind and body activities such as meditating, yoga, acupuncture, or getting a massage; going to a movie; sharing a meal; going to a spiritual service; getting together with friends—try doing things that have meaning for you.
Plan activities. It is likely to be more helpful to plan what you are going to do (and with whom) before the special date arrives. Plan your activities so that you know what to anticipate and are not disappointed if something you wanted to do is not possible because you didn’t reserve the place or invite whomever you wanted to be with ahead of time. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment.
Reach out to family and friends. There is no need to be alone, and isolation is not helpful. Invite friends or family, or accept their invitations, to participate in rituals or social events, or even just to be in their company. Be with people who understand and accept your feelings.
Talk about how you’re feeling if you need to. Some people need to talk about how their lives have changed. This is normal and may continue beyond the anniversary and special days. Find someone who will listen and understand. And if you prefer to think and talk about the future rather than what’s happened in the past, then that is what you should do. There is no need to talk about distressing events unless you want to.
Do things that might help you with overwhelming emotions. If you are the type of person who likes to exercise or even simply take a walk, make sure to do so around the anniversary time. Try writing in a notebook as if you are telling someone a story, or just write your thoughts down. Maybe write a letter or email to reconnect with people you haven’t seen in a while telling them you miss them or even just telling them how you are doing. Talk to others you trust to understand.
Do what you would like to do rather than what you think you should do. Try not to put the needs of others before your own needs on anniversaries, holidays, and other special days. Each person should spend these days in the ways that will be most helpful to him or her. Trying to make things better for others may result in misunderstandings (“I thought that’s what they wanted to do; they thought it was what I wanted to do.”). Allow for self-care.
Remember, we’re still all in this together.
Summary
- Be gentle with yourself during difficult times.
- Be aware that special days may be difficult.
- Participate in rituals that may provide soothing comfort.
The anniversary of a painful event may cause you to have an increase in stressful feelings. Anniversary reactions can range from feeling mildly upset to more extreme mental or physical health symptoms.
During this time it is important to take care of yourself and to watch out for signs that you need help.
Be aware that special days may be difficult. It’s pretty common for some stress and other emotional responses you had to the original event to come back around anniversary time. Recognizing this fact may help you not to be so hard on yourself. For many people, anniversaries and special days remind them of the impact a disaster has had on them. You may start anticipating the anniversary (or a birthday or other day of special significance in the life of a loved one you have lost) for several days, weeks or even months before. Not having your loved one or friend to share the day, your old home, apartment, neighborhood, job or co-worker—all can be difficult. It’s normal to have fears and concerns about how the anniversary or special day will make you feel.
Don’t worry if you are not experiencing any difficult feelings or emotions. This is normal too. Some people feel increased emotions pre-anniversary while others feel more emotions after the day, or not at all. Just remember that whatever you are feeling is okay. It’s only when your emotions start to interfere with your day-to-day functioning that you may want to consider reaching out for help.
Be gentle with yourself during difficult times. These times include not only the anniversary of the event itself, but other dates that are related, such as birthdays of friends you have lost, anniversaries of your wedding to a spouse you have lost, etc. Treat yourself with the same kindness you give to others.
Participate in rituals that may provide soothing comfort. Whatever those rituals are—exercise; lighting candles; mind and body activities such as meditating, yoga, acupuncture, or getting a massage; going to a movie; sharing a meal; going to a spiritual service; getting together with friends—try doing things that have meaning for you.
Plan activities. It is likely to be more helpful to plan what you are going to do (and with whom) before the special date arrives. Plan your activities so that you know what to anticipate and are not disappointed if something you wanted to do is not possible because you didn’t reserve the place or invite whomever you wanted to be with ahead of time. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment.
Reach out to family and friends. There is no need to be alone, and isolation is not helpful. Invite friends or family, or accept their invitations, to participate in rituals or social events, or even just to be in their company. Be with people who understand and accept your feelings.
Talk about how you’re feeling if you need to. Some people need to talk about how their lives have changed. This is normal and may continue beyond the anniversary and special days. Find someone who will listen and understand. And if you prefer to think and talk about the future rather than what’s happened in the past, then that is what you should do. There is no need to talk about distressing events unless you want to.
Do things that might help you with overwhelming emotions. If you are the type of person who likes to exercise or even simply take a walk, make sure to do so around the anniversary time. Try writing in a notebook as if you are telling someone a story, or just write your thoughts down. Maybe write a letter or email to reconnect with people you haven’t seen in a while telling them you miss them or even just telling them how you are doing. Talk to others you trust to understand.
Do what you would like to do rather than what you think you should do. Try not to put the needs of others before your own needs on anniversaries, holidays, and other special days. Each person should spend these days in the ways that will be most helpful to him or her. Trying to make things better for others may result in misunderstandings (“I thought that’s what they wanted to do; they thought it was what I wanted to do.”). Allow for self-care.
Remember, we’re still all in this together.
Summary
- Be gentle with yourself during difficult times.
- Be aware that special days may be difficult.
- Participate in rituals that may provide soothing comfort.
The anniversary of a painful event may cause you to have an increase in stressful feelings. Anniversary reactions can range from feeling mildly upset to more extreme mental or physical health symptoms.
During this time it is important to take care of yourself and to watch out for signs that you need help.
Be aware that special days may be difficult. It’s pretty common for some stress and other emotional responses you had to the original event to come back around anniversary time. Recognizing this fact may help you not to be so hard on yourself. For many people, anniversaries and special days remind them of the impact a disaster has had on them. You may start anticipating the anniversary (or a birthday or other day of special significance in the life of a loved one you have lost) for several days, weeks or even months before. Not having your loved one or friend to share the day, your old home, apartment, neighborhood, job or co-worker—all can be difficult. It’s normal to have fears and concerns about how the anniversary or special day will make you feel.
Don’t worry if you are not experiencing any difficult feelings or emotions. This is normal too. Some people feel increased emotions pre-anniversary while others feel more emotions after the day, or not at all. Just remember that whatever you are feeling is okay. It’s only when your emotions start to interfere with your day-to-day functioning that you may want to consider reaching out for help.
Be gentle with yourself during difficult times. These times include not only the anniversary of the event itself, but other dates that are related, such as birthdays of friends you have lost, anniversaries of your wedding to a spouse you have lost, etc. Treat yourself with the same kindness you give to others.
Participate in rituals that may provide soothing comfort. Whatever those rituals are—exercise; lighting candles; mind and body activities such as meditating, yoga, acupuncture, or getting a massage; going to a movie; sharing a meal; going to a spiritual service; getting together with friends—try doing things that have meaning for you.
Plan activities. It is likely to be more helpful to plan what you are going to do (and with whom) before the special date arrives. Plan your activities so that you know what to anticipate and are not disappointed if something you wanted to do is not possible because you didn’t reserve the place or invite whomever you wanted to be with ahead of time. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment.
Reach out to family and friends. There is no need to be alone, and isolation is not helpful. Invite friends or family, or accept their invitations, to participate in rituals or social events, or even just to be in their company. Be with people who understand and accept your feelings.
Talk about how you’re feeling if you need to. Some people need to talk about how their lives have changed. This is normal and may continue beyond the anniversary and special days. Find someone who will listen and understand. And if you prefer to think and talk about the future rather than what’s happened in the past, then that is what you should do. There is no need to talk about distressing events unless you want to.
Do things that might help you with overwhelming emotions. If you are the type of person who likes to exercise or even simply take a walk, make sure to do so around the anniversary time. Try writing in a notebook as if you are telling someone a story, or just write your thoughts down. Maybe write a letter or email to reconnect with people you haven’t seen in a while telling them you miss them or even just telling them how you are doing. Talk to others you trust to understand.
Do what you would like to do rather than what you think you should do. Try not to put the needs of others before your own needs on anniversaries, holidays, and other special days. Each person should spend these days in the ways that will be most helpful to him or her. Trying to make things better for others may result in misunderstandings (“I thought that’s what they wanted to do; they thought it was what I wanted to do.”). Allow for self-care.
Remember, we’re still all in this together.