Summary
Living within a blended family has its share of challenges, but also rewards.
The phrase blended families may sound strange, but it implies exactly that—parents, kids, and different family members being put in the same household. Perhaps your parents got divorced and one of them is going to remarry. Or your parents were never married in the first place, but your mother found a different partner and is pregnant. Or maybe your father is going to move in with his boyfriend who has children of his own. How do you handle this major life change?
Life with a new parent
It depends how long and how well you know your parent’s new partner, but it gets very real when you all move in. Does this father or mother figure replace your biological one? No, not even if your mother or father has died. This new partner is in love with your parent and is willing to take on a new family structure. Chances are good that they want a great relationship with you, too.
Take it slow. Don’t expect to feel a certain way toward your stepparent immediately. You all have to take the time to get to know one another in a new home setting. If you feel they are trying too hard to win your affection, it’s OK to ask for them to slow down.
Look at the big picture. Although this new parental figure is not your biological one, they are still an adult and deserve respect. They are helping your parent keep the household together and are most likely contributing financially. Be respectful of their rules and let them know how they can help you too. For example, if you need help with a certain subject in school, or figuring out a problem with a friend.
Ask questions. What will your new parent want to be called? What will the holidays be like? Can you visit your other biological parent living in another home as often as you would like?
Level with your parent. Let your original caregiver know if you are having an issue with your new parent. It’s nice to try to resolve it, but after all, they are the adults and can figure it out between the two of them. Your mom or dad will want to know if you are unhappy and be able to find a way to solve the issue.
Life with a new sibling
You might find yourself with a new brother or sister, or several, or even half brothers and sisters. Here are things to keep in mind.
You don’t have to be best friends. It will take time to establish your relationship—just like with the new parent—and that is OK. Chances are you have some common interests in sports, video games, or even other friends, and can tap into those. But do try to appreciate their differences.
Try not to compare. It’s possible that your new sibling(s) will have different rules. For example, if they are older, they might be able to drive the family car and stay out later. If they are younger, they might not have as many chores as you did at that age. Keep in mind that the adults in your new family are trying to find what works best for everyone. This will include keeping some of the former house rules. If you feel that you are not being treated fairly, bring it up and see if your rules can be discussed.
Treat them with respect. They are going through a transitional time too. If you’re close in age and at the same school, avoid talking badly about them to your friends. Even if you don’t like them. Share your things just as you would a visiting friend, and ask for the same kindness. Be friendly.
Life with the blended family
It’s possible that you are the only child, but have new family members to get to know. There is no limit to the amount of combinations any one family can have. This could be a biological or unrelated grandmother, uncle, niece, friend of the family, etc. Just as with your new stepparent, there is a reason they are joining the family and should be treated with respect.
Keeping the peace
The new family structure will likely come with new house rules, different chores, and other expectations. If you have any questions or concerns during the time of transition, ask. Your parent or stepparent will want to explain what they are asking of you and why. Your new siblings might be wondering the same.
If you feel that something is not right in the new family, and you do not feel comfortable to talk to your parent about it, consider asking your parent to help you find a counselor you can talk to privately to sort out your thoughts and feelings, or get help from a teacher, school counselor, or another adult whom you trust.
Summary
Living within a blended family has its share of challenges, but also rewards.
The phrase blended families may sound strange, but it implies exactly that—parents, kids, and different family members being put in the same household. Perhaps your parents got divorced and one of them is going to remarry. Or your parents were never married in the first place, but your mother found a different partner and is pregnant. Or maybe your father is going to move in with his boyfriend who has children of his own. How do you handle this major life change?
Life with a new parent
It depends how long and how well you know your parent’s new partner, but it gets very real when you all move in. Does this father or mother figure replace your biological one? No, not even if your mother or father has died. This new partner is in love with your parent and is willing to take on a new family structure. Chances are good that they want a great relationship with you, too.
Take it slow. Don’t expect to feel a certain way toward your stepparent immediately. You all have to take the time to get to know one another in a new home setting. If you feel they are trying too hard to win your affection, it’s OK to ask for them to slow down.
Look at the big picture. Although this new parental figure is not your biological one, they are still an adult and deserve respect. They are helping your parent keep the household together and are most likely contributing financially. Be respectful of their rules and let them know how they can help you too. For example, if you need help with a certain subject in school, or figuring out a problem with a friend.
Ask questions. What will your new parent want to be called? What will the holidays be like? Can you visit your other biological parent living in another home as often as you would like?
Level with your parent. Let your original caregiver know if you are having an issue with your new parent. It’s nice to try to resolve it, but after all, they are the adults and can figure it out between the two of them. Your mom or dad will want to know if you are unhappy and be able to find a way to solve the issue.
Life with a new sibling
You might find yourself with a new brother or sister, or several, or even half brothers and sisters. Here are things to keep in mind.
You don’t have to be best friends. It will take time to establish your relationship—just like with the new parent—and that is OK. Chances are you have some common interests in sports, video games, or even other friends, and can tap into those. But do try to appreciate their differences.
Try not to compare. It’s possible that your new sibling(s) will have different rules. For example, if they are older, they might be able to drive the family car and stay out later. If they are younger, they might not have as many chores as you did at that age. Keep in mind that the adults in your new family are trying to find what works best for everyone. This will include keeping some of the former house rules. If you feel that you are not being treated fairly, bring it up and see if your rules can be discussed.
Treat them with respect. They are going through a transitional time too. If you’re close in age and at the same school, avoid talking badly about them to your friends. Even if you don’t like them. Share your things just as you would a visiting friend, and ask for the same kindness. Be friendly.
Life with the blended family
It’s possible that you are the only child, but have new family members to get to know. There is no limit to the amount of combinations any one family can have. This could be a biological or unrelated grandmother, uncle, niece, friend of the family, etc. Just as with your new stepparent, there is a reason they are joining the family and should be treated with respect.
Keeping the peace
The new family structure will likely come with new house rules, different chores, and other expectations. If you have any questions or concerns during the time of transition, ask. Your parent or stepparent will want to explain what they are asking of you and why. Your new siblings might be wondering the same.
If you feel that something is not right in the new family, and you do not feel comfortable to talk to your parent about it, consider asking your parent to help you find a counselor you can talk to privately to sort out your thoughts and feelings, or get help from a teacher, school counselor, or another adult whom you trust.
Summary
Living within a blended family has its share of challenges, but also rewards.
The phrase blended families may sound strange, but it implies exactly that—parents, kids, and different family members being put in the same household. Perhaps your parents got divorced and one of them is going to remarry. Or your parents were never married in the first place, but your mother found a different partner and is pregnant. Or maybe your father is going to move in with his boyfriend who has children of his own. How do you handle this major life change?
Life with a new parent
It depends how long and how well you know your parent’s new partner, but it gets very real when you all move in. Does this father or mother figure replace your biological one? No, not even if your mother or father has died. This new partner is in love with your parent and is willing to take on a new family structure. Chances are good that they want a great relationship with you, too.
Take it slow. Don’t expect to feel a certain way toward your stepparent immediately. You all have to take the time to get to know one another in a new home setting. If you feel they are trying too hard to win your affection, it’s OK to ask for them to slow down.
Look at the big picture. Although this new parental figure is not your biological one, they are still an adult and deserve respect. They are helping your parent keep the household together and are most likely contributing financially. Be respectful of their rules and let them know how they can help you too. For example, if you need help with a certain subject in school, or figuring out a problem with a friend.
Ask questions. What will your new parent want to be called? What will the holidays be like? Can you visit your other biological parent living in another home as often as you would like?
Level with your parent. Let your original caregiver know if you are having an issue with your new parent. It’s nice to try to resolve it, but after all, they are the adults and can figure it out between the two of them. Your mom or dad will want to know if you are unhappy and be able to find a way to solve the issue.
Life with a new sibling
You might find yourself with a new brother or sister, or several, or even half brothers and sisters. Here are things to keep in mind.
You don’t have to be best friends. It will take time to establish your relationship—just like with the new parent—and that is OK. Chances are you have some common interests in sports, video games, or even other friends, and can tap into those. But do try to appreciate their differences.
Try not to compare. It’s possible that your new sibling(s) will have different rules. For example, if they are older, they might be able to drive the family car and stay out later. If they are younger, they might not have as many chores as you did at that age. Keep in mind that the adults in your new family are trying to find what works best for everyone. This will include keeping some of the former house rules. If you feel that you are not being treated fairly, bring it up and see if your rules can be discussed.
Treat them with respect. They are going through a transitional time too. If you’re close in age and at the same school, avoid talking badly about them to your friends. Even if you don’t like them. Share your things just as you would a visiting friend, and ask for the same kindness. Be friendly.
Life with the blended family
It’s possible that you are the only child, but have new family members to get to know. There is no limit to the amount of combinations any one family can have. This could be a biological or unrelated grandmother, uncle, niece, friend of the family, etc. Just as with your new stepparent, there is a reason they are joining the family and should be treated with respect.
Keeping the peace
The new family structure will likely come with new house rules, different chores, and other expectations. If you have any questions or concerns during the time of transition, ask. Your parent or stepparent will want to explain what they are asking of you and why. Your new siblings might be wondering the same.
If you feel that something is not right in the new family, and you do not feel comfortable to talk to your parent about it, consider asking your parent to help you find a counselor you can talk to privately to sort out your thoughts and feelings, or get help from a teacher, school counselor, or another adult whom you trust.