Helping Your Loved One Get Help

Reviewed Sep 8, 2018

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Summary

  • Know what resources are available.
  • Understand that your family member or loved one might be afraid. 
  • Share your concerns with other family members and try to get their cooperation.

The most costly care is not always the best. Private doctors are not always better than community mental health centers. Community mental health centers may be the first recovery step for people with serious mental illnesses. There, your loved one can get services like housing, job hunting, peer support, and more.

If this is the first time you’ve tried to get help for your loved one, you may be at a loss as to what to do or say. Here are some ideas to get started:

  • Most important, know that your loved one’s mental illness is neither your fault nor her fault. If you get a therapist who tries to blame you or your loved one, find another doctor or therapist.
  • Know what resources are on hand. Talk to your local community mental health center. All of them should offer therapy. Most have many other programs that help people with mental illnesses. Find out about all the services they have. Find out who to call for programs that interest you and your loved one.
  • Understand that your loved one might be afraid. Be patient and supportive. Accept the fact that he may be more willing to talk with a trusted friend, doctor, clergy, or another family member.
  • Always be honest. Your relative needs to know she can trust you. Talk about going into the hospital with her if this is a possibility. Do not hide books about mental illness. Do not make empty threats or promises you can’t keep.
  • What your loved one is seeing, hearing, and feeling is real to her. It will not help to argue with her. Instead, tell her that you love her, and you know what she is seeing and feeling is real to her.
  • Share your concerns with other family members. Try to get them to work together with you. Be aware that they may deny, or be embarrassed by the idea of having a family member with a mental illness.
  • Be ready in a crisis. Call 911 or call the police if you feel your loved one is losing control and may be in danger of hurting himself or others. If he is in crisis but there seems to be no immediate risk, call the crisis team at your mental health center.
  • If the situation isn’t urgent, take time to talk with your loved one. Let her know you care and are worried. Don’t diagnose your family member. Just explain that you want her to see a doctor to find out if she needs help. Ask her how she feels and how she feels about talking to a doctor. Be honest. Don’t use words that will set her off, like crazy, dangerous, or losing it. Respect her right to choose. She may not admit she needs help at first. By talking it over with her, you have opened the door. She may be ready to talk and get help later.
  • You may need to get an involuntary commitment. This is a last resort. An involuntary commitment is when the court makes your loved one go into the hospital. This only happens when a person is a danger to themselves or others, or is so sick they can’t take care of themselves. It’s always better if your loved one decides to go into the hospital on their own. This is called voluntary treatment.
By Haline Grublak, Vice President of Member and Family Affairs, Beacon Health Options
Reviewed by Trenda Hedges, C.R.S.S., C.P.R.S., Wellness & Recovery Program Manager, Beacon Health Options

Summary

  • Know what resources are available.
  • Understand that your family member or loved one might be afraid. 
  • Share your concerns with other family members and try to get their cooperation.

The most costly care is not always the best. Private doctors are not always better than community mental health centers. Community mental health centers may be the first recovery step for people with serious mental illnesses. There, your loved one can get services like housing, job hunting, peer support, and more.

If this is the first time you’ve tried to get help for your loved one, you may be at a loss as to what to do or say. Here are some ideas to get started:

  • Most important, know that your loved one’s mental illness is neither your fault nor her fault. If you get a therapist who tries to blame you or your loved one, find another doctor or therapist.
  • Know what resources are on hand. Talk to your local community mental health center. All of them should offer therapy. Most have many other programs that help people with mental illnesses. Find out about all the services they have. Find out who to call for programs that interest you and your loved one.
  • Understand that your loved one might be afraid. Be patient and supportive. Accept the fact that he may be more willing to talk with a trusted friend, doctor, clergy, or another family member.
  • Always be honest. Your relative needs to know she can trust you. Talk about going into the hospital with her if this is a possibility. Do not hide books about mental illness. Do not make empty threats or promises you can’t keep.
  • What your loved one is seeing, hearing, and feeling is real to her. It will not help to argue with her. Instead, tell her that you love her, and you know what she is seeing and feeling is real to her.
  • Share your concerns with other family members. Try to get them to work together with you. Be aware that they may deny, or be embarrassed by the idea of having a family member with a mental illness.
  • Be ready in a crisis. Call 911 or call the police if you feel your loved one is losing control and may be in danger of hurting himself or others. If he is in crisis but there seems to be no immediate risk, call the crisis team at your mental health center.
  • If the situation isn’t urgent, take time to talk with your loved one. Let her know you care and are worried. Don’t diagnose your family member. Just explain that you want her to see a doctor to find out if she needs help. Ask her how she feels and how she feels about talking to a doctor. Be honest. Don’t use words that will set her off, like crazy, dangerous, or losing it. Respect her right to choose. She may not admit she needs help at first. By talking it over with her, you have opened the door. She may be ready to talk and get help later.
  • You may need to get an involuntary commitment. This is a last resort. An involuntary commitment is when the court makes your loved one go into the hospital. This only happens when a person is a danger to themselves or others, or is so sick they can’t take care of themselves. It’s always better if your loved one decides to go into the hospital on their own. This is called voluntary treatment.
By Haline Grublak, Vice President of Member and Family Affairs, Beacon Health Options
Reviewed by Trenda Hedges, C.R.S.S., C.P.R.S., Wellness & Recovery Program Manager, Beacon Health Options

Summary

  • Know what resources are available.
  • Understand that your family member or loved one might be afraid. 
  • Share your concerns with other family members and try to get their cooperation.

The most costly care is not always the best. Private doctors are not always better than community mental health centers. Community mental health centers may be the first recovery step for people with serious mental illnesses. There, your loved one can get services like housing, job hunting, peer support, and more.

If this is the first time you’ve tried to get help for your loved one, you may be at a loss as to what to do or say. Here are some ideas to get started:

  • Most important, know that your loved one’s mental illness is neither your fault nor her fault. If you get a therapist who tries to blame you or your loved one, find another doctor or therapist.
  • Know what resources are on hand. Talk to your local community mental health center. All of them should offer therapy. Most have many other programs that help people with mental illnesses. Find out about all the services they have. Find out who to call for programs that interest you and your loved one.
  • Understand that your loved one might be afraid. Be patient and supportive. Accept the fact that he may be more willing to talk with a trusted friend, doctor, clergy, or another family member.
  • Always be honest. Your relative needs to know she can trust you. Talk about going into the hospital with her if this is a possibility. Do not hide books about mental illness. Do not make empty threats or promises you can’t keep.
  • What your loved one is seeing, hearing, and feeling is real to her. It will not help to argue with her. Instead, tell her that you love her, and you know what she is seeing and feeling is real to her.
  • Share your concerns with other family members. Try to get them to work together with you. Be aware that they may deny, or be embarrassed by the idea of having a family member with a mental illness.
  • Be ready in a crisis. Call 911 or call the police if you feel your loved one is losing control and may be in danger of hurting himself or others. If he is in crisis but there seems to be no immediate risk, call the crisis team at your mental health center.
  • If the situation isn’t urgent, take time to talk with your loved one. Let her know you care and are worried. Don’t diagnose your family member. Just explain that you want her to see a doctor to find out if she needs help. Ask her how she feels and how she feels about talking to a doctor. Be honest. Don’t use words that will set her off, like crazy, dangerous, or losing it. Respect her right to choose. She may not admit she needs help at first. By talking it over with her, you have opened the door. She may be ready to talk and get help later.
  • You may need to get an involuntary commitment. This is a last resort. An involuntary commitment is when the court makes your loved one go into the hospital. This only happens when a person is a danger to themselves or others, or is so sick they can’t take care of themselves. It’s always better if your loved one decides to go into the hospital on their own. This is called voluntary treatment.
By Haline Grublak, Vice President of Member and Family Affairs, Beacon Health Options
Reviewed by Trenda Hedges, C.R.S.S., C.P.R.S., Wellness & Recovery Program Manager, Beacon Health Options

The information provided on the Achieve Solutions site, including, but not limited to, articles, assessments, and other general information, is for informational purposes only and should not be treated as medical, health care, psychiatric, psychological, or behavioral health care advice. Nothing contained on the Achieve Solutions site is intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment or as a substitute for consultation with a qualified health care professional. Please direct questions regarding the operation of the Achieve Solutions site to Web Feedback. If you have concerns about your health, please contact your health care provider.  ©Carelon Behavioral Health

 

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