Be an Involved Father

Reviewed Mar 21, 2019

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Summary

  • Play games with your kids.
  • Take responsibility for day-to-day parenting.

Fathers have a big influence on the lives of their kids. Children whose fathers are actively involved in their lives tend to grow up happier and more well-adjusted than if their fathers didn’t take time for them. Fathers also benefit from the relationship with their children. They enjoy a strong connection with their children and develop feelings of pride and self-worth.

Benefits to children of being involved

Infants whose fathers take part in their care tend to be healthier with greater weight gain than those who don’t get attention from their father. As children grow, those with involved fathers:

  • Tend to do well in school
  • Are likely to have good social skills and are less likely to misbehave
  • Have good self-esteem
  • Are less likely to have depression

Having an involved father makes a difference after the kids grow up, too. Adults whose fathers had an active role in raising them:

  • Are more likely to have strong relationships
  • Tend to have more success in their careers
  • Are overall better able to manage their stress

Benefits to fathers of being an active parent

Studies have shown that fathers who have a good relationship with their children:

  • Have less stress
  • Become more nurturing and less selfish
  • Are less likely to become depressed
  • Have better physical health 

How to be an involved dad

Being an involved dad means just that: interacting with your children, being available for them at all times, and taking responsibility for their welfare.

Be together

  • Make time to play a game with your children or go for a walk together.
  • Involve them in your chores. If you need to drive to the hardware store, take them along.
  • Help your kids with their homework. Resist the temptation to do it for them.
  • Turn off the screen if you are not communicating with your children.

Be available

  • Be there for your kids when they need comforting.
  • Take time to answer their questions.
  • Show affection by telling your children “I love you,” and by giving them hugs and kisses.
  • Express your own feelings and why you are feeling that way. Children often think they did something wrong when a parent is angry or frustrated when it could be that the parent had a bad day at work. When you’re upset, let your children know why.

Take responsibility

  • Schedule your children’s doctor appointments.
  • Attend parent-teacher conferences.
  • Help your young children get ready for bed at night and for school in the morning.

For military dads

As a service member, there may be times, such as deployment, when you are not home for long periods of time. But you can still be an active presence in your children’s lives.

  • Make special mementoes to swap with your kids before your deployment. Do this as a family to make it even more special.
  • Use video chat to visit with your children. Read bedtime stories to your little ones, help older children with homework, if you can work out the time.
  • Stay in touch in other ways, such as text and email, but also send letters and packages.
  • Play online games with your kids.
  • Stay in touch with their teachers. Ask the teachers to include you in school-home communication, and also to be on the lookout for signs that your children are struggling.
  • When you are back home, reserve the first few days to reconnect quietly with your children.

Most importantly, be a father, not a friend. It certainly is important to have a friendly relationship with your children, but you’re a father first. Your kids will have many friends, what they need is a father. 

By Sharron Luttrell, Military OneSource. Used with permission.
Source: "The Surprising Life Benefits of Becoming a Father," The Telegraph, www.telegraph.co.uk/men/fatherhood/the-surprising-life-benefits-of-becoming-a-father; "10 Facts About Father Engagement," The Fatherhood Project, www.thefatherhoodproject.org/10-facts-about-father-engagement/

Summary

  • Play games with your kids.
  • Take responsibility for day-to-day parenting.

Fathers have a big influence on the lives of their kids. Children whose fathers are actively involved in their lives tend to grow up happier and more well-adjusted than if their fathers didn’t take time for them. Fathers also benefit from the relationship with their children. They enjoy a strong connection with their children and develop feelings of pride and self-worth.

Benefits to children of being involved

Infants whose fathers take part in their care tend to be healthier with greater weight gain than those who don’t get attention from their father. As children grow, those with involved fathers:

  • Tend to do well in school
  • Are likely to have good social skills and are less likely to misbehave
  • Have good self-esteem
  • Are less likely to have depression

Having an involved father makes a difference after the kids grow up, too. Adults whose fathers had an active role in raising them:

  • Are more likely to have strong relationships
  • Tend to have more success in their careers
  • Are overall better able to manage their stress

Benefits to fathers of being an active parent

Studies have shown that fathers who have a good relationship with their children:

  • Have less stress
  • Become more nurturing and less selfish
  • Are less likely to become depressed
  • Have better physical health 

How to be an involved dad

Being an involved dad means just that: interacting with your children, being available for them at all times, and taking responsibility for their welfare.

Be together

  • Make time to play a game with your children or go for a walk together.
  • Involve them in your chores. If you need to drive to the hardware store, take them along.
  • Help your kids with their homework. Resist the temptation to do it for them.
  • Turn off the screen if you are not communicating with your children.

Be available

  • Be there for your kids when they need comforting.
  • Take time to answer their questions.
  • Show affection by telling your children “I love you,” and by giving them hugs and kisses.
  • Express your own feelings and why you are feeling that way. Children often think they did something wrong when a parent is angry or frustrated when it could be that the parent had a bad day at work. When you’re upset, let your children know why.

Take responsibility

  • Schedule your children’s doctor appointments.
  • Attend parent-teacher conferences.
  • Help your young children get ready for bed at night and for school in the morning.

For military dads

As a service member, there may be times, such as deployment, when you are not home for long periods of time. But you can still be an active presence in your children’s lives.

  • Make special mementoes to swap with your kids before your deployment. Do this as a family to make it even more special.
  • Use video chat to visit with your children. Read bedtime stories to your little ones, help older children with homework, if you can work out the time.
  • Stay in touch in other ways, such as text and email, but also send letters and packages.
  • Play online games with your kids.
  • Stay in touch with their teachers. Ask the teachers to include you in school-home communication, and also to be on the lookout for signs that your children are struggling.
  • When you are back home, reserve the first few days to reconnect quietly with your children.

Most importantly, be a father, not a friend. It certainly is important to have a friendly relationship with your children, but you’re a father first. Your kids will have many friends, what they need is a father. 

By Sharron Luttrell, Military OneSource. Used with permission.
Source: "The Surprising Life Benefits of Becoming a Father," The Telegraph, www.telegraph.co.uk/men/fatherhood/the-surprising-life-benefits-of-becoming-a-father; "10 Facts About Father Engagement," The Fatherhood Project, www.thefatherhoodproject.org/10-facts-about-father-engagement/

Summary

  • Play games with your kids.
  • Take responsibility for day-to-day parenting.

Fathers have a big influence on the lives of their kids. Children whose fathers are actively involved in their lives tend to grow up happier and more well-adjusted than if their fathers didn’t take time for them. Fathers also benefit from the relationship with their children. They enjoy a strong connection with their children and develop feelings of pride and self-worth.

Benefits to children of being involved

Infants whose fathers take part in their care tend to be healthier with greater weight gain than those who don’t get attention from their father. As children grow, those with involved fathers:

  • Tend to do well in school
  • Are likely to have good social skills and are less likely to misbehave
  • Have good self-esteem
  • Are less likely to have depression

Having an involved father makes a difference after the kids grow up, too. Adults whose fathers had an active role in raising them:

  • Are more likely to have strong relationships
  • Tend to have more success in their careers
  • Are overall better able to manage their stress

Benefits to fathers of being an active parent

Studies have shown that fathers who have a good relationship with their children:

  • Have less stress
  • Become more nurturing and less selfish
  • Are less likely to become depressed
  • Have better physical health 

How to be an involved dad

Being an involved dad means just that: interacting with your children, being available for them at all times, and taking responsibility for their welfare.

Be together

  • Make time to play a game with your children or go for a walk together.
  • Involve them in your chores. If you need to drive to the hardware store, take them along.
  • Help your kids with their homework. Resist the temptation to do it for them.
  • Turn off the screen if you are not communicating with your children.

Be available

  • Be there for your kids when they need comforting.
  • Take time to answer their questions.
  • Show affection by telling your children “I love you,” and by giving them hugs and kisses.
  • Express your own feelings and why you are feeling that way. Children often think they did something wrong when a parent is angry or frustrated when it could be that the parent had a bad day at work. When you’re upset, let your children know why.

Take responsibility

  • Schedule your children’s doctor appointments.
  • Attend parent-teacher conferences.
  • Help your young children get ready for bed at night and for school in the morning.

For military dads

As a service member, there may be times, such as deployment, when you are not home for long periods of time. But you can still be an active presence in your children’s lives.

  • Make special mementoes to swap with your kids before your deployment. Do this as a family to make it even more special.
  • Use video chat to visit with your children. Read bedtime stories to your little ones, help older children with homework, if you can work out the time.
  • Stay in touch in other ways, such as text and email, but also send letters and packages.
  • Play online games with your kids.
  • Stay in touch with their teachers. Ask the teachers to include you in school-home communication, and also to be on the lookout for signs that your children are struggling.
  • When you are back home, reserve the first few days to reconnect quietly with your children.

Most importantly, be a father, not a friend. It certainly is important to have a friendly relationship with your children, but you’re a father first. Your kids will have many friends, what they need is a father. 

By Sharron Luttrell, Military OneSource. Used with permission.
Source: "The Surprising Life Benefits of Becoming a Father," The Telegraph, www.telegraph.co.uk/men/fatherhood/the-surprising-life-benefits-of-becoming-a-father; "10 Facts About Father Engagement," The Fatherhood Project, www.thefatherhoodproject.org/10-facts-about-father-engagement/

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