Summary
- Teens with ID need opportunities for increased independence from their parents.
- Teens with ID can learn social skills needed to make and keep friends. Parents can facilitate opportunities to practice social skills.
Teens with intellectual disability (ID) are like most other teens. They start to pull away from their parents. They begin to figure out their place in this world. They are curious about sex and dating. They long for friendships, to be accepted and to fit in.
The passage from child to adulthood is hard for many teens to navigate. It can be even harder for teens with ID. Puberty, which often starts before the teen years, occurs at the same time for children with and without ID. Yet most children with ID lag behind their peers in other areas. This includes cognitive, social and emotional growth.
If you are a parent of a teen with ID, you can help your child through this time of growth.
Foster a healthy sense of self
Developing a sense of self is a central task during the teen years. For teens with ID, this involves coming to terms with having a disability. One way to foster a healthy sense of self is to give your teen opportunities to feel capable and valued. Look for ways they can contribute at home and in the community. The public library, food banks and advocacy groups are a few examples of places that need volunteers. Many health care places have programs which offer opportunities for those with ID.
Empower your teen to be less dependent on you
Your teen may always need your help with some aspects of adult life. This could be, for example, help with managing money. But the goal for your child is to become as independent as possible.
Learning and growth occur when teens are pushed beyond their comfort zone. Look for ways to modify family roles and routines to give your teen greater autonomy and responsibility. Give your teen lots of practice making decisions, solving problems and doing things with less help from you. Try not to sway your teen into making choices that you want. Encourage them to participate in planning their IEP. Many teens with ID are able to lead their IEP meeting.
Enhance social skills
Teens with ID want and need a circle of friends just like the teens they see at school, the mall and on TV. But social life can be hard for teens with ID. Your teen may not understand or be confused by teen behavior and complex social interactions.
The good news is that teens with ID can learn social skills needed to make and keep friends. These skills are often taught at school and may be included in your child’s IEP. But teens with ID also need safe places to practice social skills outside the classroom.
Seek out clubs or groups at school or in your community that interest your teen and make them feel welcomed. Friendships are more likely to develop around shared interests. You might also look for someone willing to buddy up with your teen until they feel like a regular.
Parents also need to respect a teen’s right to choose her friends. Be sure to welcome your teen’s friends into your home and give them enough privacy.
Talk about sex and sexual feelings
Expressing sexuality is a normal and healthy part of adulthood. Most teens with ID want to have a romantic relationship one day, and many will. Teens with ID need accurate information about sexuality. This includes:
- Self-care
- Names of body parts and what they do
- Appropriate ways to handle sexual feelings toward others
- What behaviors should be done in private
- How to handle unwanted attention
- Deciding if a relationship is healthy or safe
Informed teens are able to make wise choices if they do begin dating. They also are better able to stop unwanted sexual attention.
Many resources are available to help parents talk to teens about sex. Make sure your child knows that you are willing to answer any questions they may have.
Final thoughts
Being a teenager with ID can be lonely and stressful despite efforts to plug into high school life. Be on the lookout for changes in eating, sleeping, mood or behavior that might signal depression and/or anxiety. Contact a mental health professional if your teen needs more than you can give in order to thrive.
Summary
- Teens with ID need opportunities for increased independence from their parents.
- Teens with ID can learn social skills needed to make and keep friends. Parents can facilitate opportunities to practice social skills.
Teens with intellectual disability (ID) are like most other teens. They start to pull away from their parents. They begin to figure out their place in this world. They are curious about sex and dating. They long for friendships, to be accepted and to fit in.
The passage from child to adulthood is hard for many teens to navigate. It can be even harder for teens with ID. Puberty, which often starts before the teen years, occurs at the same time for children with and without ID. Yet most children with ID lag behind their peers in other areas. This includes cognitive, social and emotional growth.
If you are a parent of a teen with ID, you can help your child through this time of growth.
Foster a healthy sense of self
Developing a sense of self is a central task during the teen years. For teens with ID, this involves coming to terms with having a disability. One way to foster a healthy sense of self is to give your teen opportunities to feel capable and valued. Look for ways they can contribute at home and in the community. The public library, food banks and advocacy groups are a few examples of places that need volunteers. Many health care places have programs which offer opportunities for those with ID.
Empower your teen to be less dependent on you
Your teen may always need your help with some aspects of adult life. This could be, for example, help with managing money. But the goal for your child is to become as independent as possible.
Learning and growth occur when teens are pushed beyond their comfort zone. Look for ways to modify family roles and routines to give your teen greater autonomy and responsibility. Give your teen lots of practice making decisions, solving problems and doing things with less help from you. Try not to sway your teen into making choices that you want. Encourage them to participate in planning their IEP. Many teens with ID are able to lead their IEP meeting.
Enhance social skills
Teens with ID want and need a circle of friends just like the teens they see at school, the mall and on TV. But social life can be hard for teens with ID. Your teen may not understand or be confused by teen behavior and complex social interactions.
The good news is that teens with ID can learn social skills needed to make and keep friends. These skills are often taught at school and may be included in your child’s IEP. But teens with ID also need safe places to practice social skills outside the classroom.
Seek out clubs or groups at school or in your community that interest your teen and make them feel welcomed. Friendships are more likely to develop around shared interests. You might also look for someone willing to buddy up with your teen until they feel like a regular.
Parents also need to respect a teen’s right to choose her friends. Be sure to welcome your teen’s friends into your home and give them enough privacy.
Talk about sex and sexual feelings
Expressing sexuality is a normal and healthy part of adulthood. Most teens with ID want to have a romantic relationship one day, and many will. Teens with ID need accurate information about sexuality. This includes:
- Self-care
- Names of body parts and what they do
- Appropriate ways to handle sexual feelings toward others
- What behaviors should be done in private
- How to handle unwanted attention
- Deciding if a relationship is healthy or safe
Informed teens are able to make wise choices if they do begin dating. They also are better able to stop unwanted sexual attention.
Many resources are available to help parents talk to teens about sex. Make sure your child knows that you are willing to answer any questions they may have.
Final thoughts
Being a teenager with ID can be lonely and stressful despite efforts to plug into high school life. Be on the lookout for changes in eating, sleeping, mood or behavior that might signal depression and/or anxiety. Contact a mental health professional if your teen needs more than you can give in order to thrive.
Summary
- Teens with ID need opportunities for increased independence from their parents.
- Teens with ID can learn social skills needed to make and keep friends. Parents can facilitate opportunities to practice social skills.
Teens with intellectual disability (ID) are like most other teens. They start to pull away from their parents. They begin to figure out their place in this world. They are curious about sex and dating. They long for friendships, to be accepted and to fit in.
The passage from child to adulthood is hard for many teens to navigate. It can be even harder for teens with ID. Puberty, which often starts before the teen years, occurs at the same time for children with and without ID. Yet most children with ID lag behind their peers in other areas. This includes cognitive, social and emotional growth.
If you are a parent of a teen with ID, you can help your child through this time of growth.
Foster a healthy sense of self
Developing a sense of self is a central task during the teen years. For teens with ID, this involves coming to terms with having a disability. One way to foster a healthy sense of self is to give your teen opportunities to feel capable and valued. Look for ways they can contribute at home and in the community. The public library, food banks and advocacy groups are a few examples of places that need volunteers. Many health care places have programs which offer opportunities for those with ID.
Empower your teen to be less dependent on you
Your teen may always need your help with some aspects of adult life. This could be, for example, help with managing money. But the goal for your child is to become as independent as possible.
Learning and growth occur when teens are pushed beyond their comfort zone. Look for ways to modify family roles and routines to give your teen greater autonomy and responsibility. Give your teen lots of practice making decisions, solving problems and doing things with less help from you. Try not to sway your teen into making choices that you want. Encourage them to participate in planning their IEP. Many teens with ID are able to lead their IEP meeting.
Enhance social skills
Teens with ID want and need a circle of friends just like the teens they see at school, the mall and on TV. But social life can be hard for teens with ID. Your teen may not understand or be confused by teen behavior and complex social interactions.
The good news is that teens with ID can learn social skills needed to make and keep friends. These skills are often taught at school and may be included in your child’s IEP. But teens with ID also need safe places to practice social skills outside the classroom.
Seek out clubs or groups at school or in your community that interest your teen and make them feel welcomed. Friendships are more likely to develop around shared interests. You might also look for someone willing to buddy up with your teen until they feel like a regular.
Parents also need to respect a teen’s right to choose her friends. Be sure to welcome your teen’s friends into your home and give them enough privacy.
Talk about sex and sexual feelings
Expressing sexuality is a normal and healthy part of adulthood. Most teens with ID want to have a romantic relationship one day, and many will. Teens with ID need accurate information about sexuality. This includes:
- Self-care
- Names of body parts and what they do
- Appropriate ways to handle sexual feelings toward others
- What behaviors should be done in private
- How to handle unwanted attention
- Deciding if a relationship is healthy or safe
Informed teens are able to make wise choices if they do begin dating. They also are better able to stop unwanted sexual attention.
Many resources are available to help parents talk to teens about sex. Make sure your child knows that you are willing to answer any questions they may have.
Final thoughts
Being a teenager with ID can be lonely and stressful despite efforts to plug into high school life. Be on the lookout for changes in eating, sleeping, mood or behavior that might signal depression and/or anxiety. Contact a mental health professional if your teen needs more than you can give in order to thrive.