Summary
- Be a good role model.
- Stay engaged with your teenager.
When we “enable” someone, it can be either helpful or harmful. Enabling your teenage daughter to get to work by providing her with a ride is helpful. Enabling your teenage son to start drinking by leaving open liquor out is harmful. Not all examples of enabling are as cut and dry, however. This is often the case in parenting, and in parenting teens in particular.
Here are a few ways parents may be enabling unsafe behavior:
- Always making excuses for their teen
- Keeping the peace no matter what
- Making false promises or threats
- Using inconsistent discipline
- Not setting guidelines
- Being overprotective
Pick your battles
Most parents want what is best for their kids. It is natural to want to protect our children from harm. We worry that our kids will make the same mistakes we did. Therefore, we to try to rescue them from potential bad experiences. However, some of the best life lessons are learned from making mistakes.
If the situation does not present any real danger, then let your teen decide. Give her your point of view and insight but do not force your opinion. Allow her to weigh the pros and cons for herself and make her own choice. This will help promote healthy independence. Even if it turns out to be wrong, at least she will learn from it.
There are also times when a parent needs to speak up. If your teen is planning something harmful or illegal, then you need to intervene. It may not make you popular with your teen, but it is the right thing to do. Not saying anything is the same as saying that it is OK.
The terrible teens
We’ve all heard of the “terrible twos.” There could also be a case made for the “terrible teens.” This is not to say that your model child suddenly turns into a bad person. It simply means that the teenage years can be challenging for teens and for parents.
Parents of teens have plenty of reasons to be concerned. Drugs and alcohol, reckless driving, unsafe sex, and suicide are real and present dangers. Even kids who know right from wrong can feel pressured into making bad choices.
Some of the major influences on today’s teens include:
- Puberty and hormones
- Peer pressure
- Social media interactions
- 24/7 internet access
- Movies and TV shows
- Song lyrics and music videos
- Magazines and ads
What’s a parent to do?
Stay engaged with your teenager. Give him your full attention when he is talking. Ask him about school and what subjects he likes the best. Learn about his friends and what kind of music he enjoys. Show an interest in the things he enjoys. Teens often struggle with self-confidence and feeling ignored. If they do not get the attention they need at home, they may seek it elsewhere.
Thankfully, parents can still have a positive influence on their teen. Although she may not admit it, your teen is still listening and watching. That is why it is vital that your actions match your words. For example, texting while driving and then telling her not to sends a mixed message at best. Setting a good example speaks much louder than any lecture.
Summary
- Be a good role model.
- Stay engaged with your teenager.
When we “enable” someone, it can be either helpful or harmful. Enabling your teenage daughter to get to work by providing her with a ride is helpful. Enabling your teenage son to start drinking by leaving open liquor out is harmful. Not all examples of enabling are as cut and dry, however. This is often the case in parenting, and in parenting teens in particular.
Here are a few ways parents may be enabling unsafe behavior:
- Always making excuses for their teen
- Keeping the peace no matter what
- Making false promises or threats
- Using inconsistent discipline
- Not setting guidelines
- Being overprotective
Pick your battles
Most parents want what is best for their kids. It is natural to want to protect our children from harm. We worry that our kids will make the same mistakes we did. Therefore, we to try to rescue them from potential bad experiences. However, some of the best life lessons are learned from making mistakes.
If the situation does not present any real danger, then let your teen decide. Give her your point of view and insight but do not force your opinion. Allow her to weigh the pros and cons for herself and make her own choice. This will help promote healthy independence. Even if it turns out to be wrong, at least she will learn from it.
There are also times when a parent needs to speak up. If your teen is planning something harmful or illegal, then you need to intervene. It may not make you popular with your teen, but it is the right thing to do. Not saying anything is the same as saying that it is OK.
The terrible teens
We’ve all heard of the “terrible twos.” There could also be a case made for the “terrible teens.” This is not to say that your model child suddenly turns into a bad person. It simply means that the teenage years can be challenging for teens and for parents.
Parents of teens have plenty of reasons to be concerned. Drugs and alcohol, reckless driving, unsafe sex, and suicide are real and present dangers. Even kids who know right from wrong can feel pressured into making bad choices.
Some of the major influences on today’s teens include:
- Puberty and hormones
- Peer pressure
- Social media interactions
- 24/7 internet access
- Movies and TV shows
- Song lyrics and music videos
- Magazines and ads
What’s a parent to do?
Stay engaged with your teenager. Give him your full attention when he is talking. Ask him about school and what subjects he likes the best. Learn about his friends and what kind of music he enjoys. Show an interest in the things he enjoys. Teens often struggle with self-confidence and feeling ignored. If they do not get the attention they need at home, they may seek it elsewhere.
Thankfully, parents can still have a positive influence on their teen. Although she may not admit it, your teen is still listening and watching. That is why it is vital that your actions match your words. For example, texting while driving and then telling her not to sends a mixed message at best. Setting a good example speaks much louder than any lecture.
Summary
- Be a good role model.
- Stay engaged with your teenager.
When we “enable” someone, it can be either helpful or harmful. Enabling your teenage daughter to get to work by providing her with a ride is helpful. Enabling your teenage son to start drinking by leaving open liquor out is harmful. Not all examples of enabling are as cut and dry, however. This is often the case in parenting, and in parenting teens in particular.
Here are a few ways parents may be enabling unsafe behavior:
- Always making excuses for their teen
- Keeping the peace no matter what
- Making false promises or threats
- Using inconsistent discipline
- Not setting guidelines
- Being overprotective
Pick your battles
Most parents want what is best for their kids. It is natural to want to protect our children from harm. We worry that our kids will make the same mistakes we did. Therefore, we to try to rescue them from potential bad experiences. However, some of the best life lessons are learned from making mistakes.
If the situation does not present any real danger, then let your teen decide. Give her your point of view and insight but do not force your opinion. Allow her to weigh the pros and cons for herself and make her own choice. This will help promote healthy independence. Even if it turns out to be wrong, at least she will learn from it.
There are also times when a parent needs to speak up. If your teen is planning something harmful or illegal, then you need to intervene. It may not make you popular with your teen, but it is the right thing to do. Not saying anything is the same as saying that it is OK.
The terrible teens
We’ve all heard of the “terrible twos.” There could also be a case made for the “terrible teens.” This is not to say that your model child suddenly turns into a bad person. It simply means that the teenage years can be challenging for teens and for parents.
Parents of teens have plenty of reasons to be concerned. Drugs and alcohol, reckless driving, unsafe sex, and suicide are real and present dangers. Even kids who know right from wrong can feel pressured into making bad choices.
Some of the major influences on today’s teens include:
- Puberty and hormones
- Peer pressure
- Social media interactions
- 24/7 internet access
- Movies and TV shows
- Song lyrics and music videos
- Magazines and ads
What’s a parent to do?
Stay engaged with your teenager. Give him your full attention when he is talking. Ask him about school and what subjects he likes the best. Learn about his friends and what kind of music he enjoys. Show an interest in the things he enjoys. Teens often struggle with self-confidence and feeling ignored. If they do not get the attention they need at home, they may seek it elsewhere.
Thankfully, parents can still have a positive influence on their teen. Although she may not admit it, your teen is still listening and watching. That is why it is vital that your actions match your words. For example, texting while driving and then telling her not to sends a mixed message at best. Setting a good example speaks much louder than any lecture.