Summary
- Gratitude is strongly linked to overall well-being.
- People who are grateful want to help others.
- Parents can help children grow into grateful adults.
A polite and well-mannered child is a pleasure. But a grateful child is ... well, is there even such a thing? According to Dr. Jeffrey Froh, a psychologist who studies gratitude in youth at Hofstra University, children as young as 5 years old may be able to feel and show true gratitude. Froh thinks that parents can do a lot to cultivate gratitude in their children, and research reveals many good reasons for doing so.
What is gratitude?
Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness that you have when somebody does something kind or helpful for you. But people also can have a gratitude trait, which means they are inclined to “notice and appreciate the positive in the world,” says Froh.
The benefits of gratitude make it a trait worth cultivating. “Gratitude is strongly linked to overall well-being. Grateful people are happier, less depressed, less stressed and more satisfied with their lives and relationships,” Froh explains. They also sleep better and tend to cope with hardships and changes in healthy ways.
Froh’s research suggests that gratitude is related to well-being in young people as well. Grateful kids tend to get good grades, have high self-esteem, and care less about what they have. Moreover, gratitude seems to spark a desire to “give back” and make the world a better place. “When you feel grateful, you want to do good things for others,” says Froh.
How can parents raise a grateful child?
Froh has these suggestions:
- Model an attitude of gratitude. Children need to hear their parents express gratitude every day. “Parents need to point out to their kids what they are grateful for and why,” says Froh. This includes gratitude not only for a gift or helpful gesture, but also for friendships, neighbors, good health, the beauty of nature, and so forth. Even reflecting on and appreciating the “good” that comes out of a difficult or bad situation can serve to model an attitude of gratitude.
- Teach children how to express thankfulness. Children should be taught from a very early age to say “thank you.” Parents also can help young children to write thank-you notes for gifts or other kind gestures. These habits may, in time, help to develop heartfelt gratitude. Parents also can help children learn to express gratitude in other ways. Family members, including very young children, can take turns sharing what they are grateful for during mealtime or before bed. Or children can count their blessings through prayer.
- Help children develop empathy. Gratitude is a complex, social emotion that develops as a child becomes less self-focused and more aware of other people’s feelings. “Empathy comes first,” says Froh. To help children step into another person’s shoes, ask questions such as, “How do you think Jane felt after losing the soccer game?” or “Jack is taking his first trip in an airplane. How would you feel if you were him?”
- Help children to see when kind or helpful deeds are done by choice and at some cost to the good-doer. To feel grateful, a child must recognize that a helpful or kind gesture was done on purpose for the child’s sake and that doing so came at some cost. Parents can help children understand these points. Froh gives this example: “It was really thoughtful of Will to share his snack with you today so that you would not be hungry at school, especially since his mom packed cookies as a special treat.”
Froh notes the importance of teaching children that “cost” means more than money, such as resources, time, a missed opportunity, or as in this example, the pleasure of enjoying all the cookies for oneself.
- Do not spoil children. Froh notes that entitled kids struggle to value the role other people, situations and events play in their lives. Overpraising children for a good grade, for example, fails to acknowledge the role of other contributing factors, such as a good teacher or the help of a tutor. Parents who value status and stuff also may thwart the development of gratitude. Materialistic values are inwardly focused whereas gratitude is an outwardly focused concept, says Froh.
The take-home message for parents, says Froh, is that kids who see their parents value the world around them and express gratitude openly and often are likely to follow in their footsteps.
Resources
Greater Good Science Center
University of California, Berkeley
2425 Atherton St. #6070
Berkeley, CA 94720-6070
(510) 642-2490
www.greatergood.berkeley.edu
Thanks: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons. Mariner, 2008.
Summary
- Gratitude is strongly linked to overall well-being.
- People who are grateful want to help others.
- Parents can help children grow into grateful adults.
A polite and well-mannered child is a pleasure. But a grateful child is ... well, is there even such a thing? According to Dr. Jeffrey Froh, a psychologist who studies gratitude in youth at Hofstra University, children as young as 5 years old may be able to feel and show true gratitude. Froh thinks that parents can do a lot to cultivate gratitude in their children, and research reveals many good reasons for doing so.
What is gratitude?
Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness that you have when somebody does something kind or helpful for you. But people also can have a gratitude trait, which means they are inclined to “notice and appreciate the positive in the world,” says Froh.
The benefits of gratitude make it a trait worth cultivating. “Gratitude is strongly linked to overall well-being. Grateful people are happier, less depressed, less stressed and more satisfied with their lives and relationships,” Froh explains. They also sleep better and tend to cope with hardships and changes in healthy ways.
Froh’s research suggests that gratitude is related to well-being in young people as well. Grateful kids tend to get good grades, have high self-esteem, and care less about what they have. Moreover, gratitude seems to spark a desire to “give back” and make the world a better place. “When you feel grateful, you want to do good things for others,” says Froh.
How can parents raise a grateful child?
Froh has these suggestions:
- Model an attitude of gratitude. Children need to hear their parents express gratitude every day. “Parents need to point out to their kids what they are grateful for and why,” says Froh. This includes gratitude not only for a gift or helpful gesture, but also for friendships, neighbors, good health, the beauty of nature, and so forth. Even reflecting on and appreciating the “good” that comes out of a difficult or bad situation can serve to model an attitude of gratitude.
- Teach children how to express thankfulness. Children should be taught from a very early age to say “thank you.” Parents also can help young children to write thank-you notes for gifts or other kind gestures. These habits may, in time, help to develop heartfelt gratitude. Parents also can help children learn to express gratitude in other ways. Family members, including very young children, can take turns sharing what they are grateful for during mealtime or before bed. Or children can count their blessings through prayer.
- Help children develop empathy. Gratitude is a complex, social emotion that develops as a child becomes less self-focused and more aware of other people’s feelings. “Empathy comes first,” says Froh. To help children step into another person’s shoes, ask questions such as, “How do you think Jane felt after losing the soccer game?” or “Jack is taking his first trip in an airplane. How would you feel if you were him?”
- Help children to see when kind or helpful deeds are done by choice and at some cost to the good-doer. To feel grateful, a child must recognize that a helpful or kind gesture was done on purpose for the child’s sake and that doing so came at some cost. Parents can help children understand these points. Froh gives this example: “It was really thoughtful of Will to share his snack with you today so that you would not be hungry at school, especially since his mom packed cookies as a special treat.”
Froh notes the importance of teaching children that “cost” means more than money, such as resources, time, a missed opportunity, or as in this example, the pleasure of enjoying all the cookies for oneself.
- Do not spoil children. Froh notes that entitled kids struggle to value the role other people, situations and events play in their lives. Overpraising children for a good grade, for example, fails to acknowledge the role of other contributing factors, such as a good teacher or the help of a tutor. Parents who value status and stuff also may thwart the development of gratitude. Materialistic values are inwardly focused whereas gratitude is an outwardly focused concept, says Froh.
The take-home message for parents, says Froh, is that kids who see their parents value the world around them and express gratitude openly and often are likely to follow in their footsteps.
Resources
Greater Good Science Center
University of California, Berkeley
2425 Atherton St. #6070
Berkeley, CA 94720-6070
(510) 642-2490
www.greatergood.berkeley.edu
Thanks: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons. Mariner, 2008.
Summary
- Gratitude is strongly linked to overall well-being.
- People who are grateful want to help others.
- Parents can help children grow into grateful adults.
A polite and well-mannered child is a pleasure. But a grateful child is ... well, is there even such a thing? According to Dr. Jeffrey Froh, a psychologist who studies gratitude in youth at Hofstra University, children as young as 5 years old may be able to feel and show true gratitude. Froh thinks that parents can do a lot to cultivate gratitude in their children, and research reveals many good reasons for doing so.
What is gratitude?
Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness that you have when somebody does something kind or helpful for you. But people also can have a gratitude trait, which means they are inclined to “notice and appreciate the positive in the world,” says Froh.
The benefits of gratitude make it a trait worth cultivating. “Gratitude is strongly linked to overall well-being. Grateful people are happier, less depressed, less stressed and more satisfied with their lives and relationships,” Froh explains. They also sleep better and tend to cope with hardships and changes in healthy ways.
Froh’s research suggests that gratitude is related to well-being in young people as well. Grateful kids tend to get good grades, have high self-esteem, and care less about what they have. Moreover, gratitude seems to spark a desire to “give back” and make the world a better place. “When you feel grateful, you want to do good things for others,” says Froh.
How can parents raise a grateful child?
Froh has these suggestions:
- Model an attitude of gratitude. Children need to hear their parents express gratitude every day. “Parents need to point out to their kids what they are grateful for and why,” says Froh. This includes gratitude not only for a gift or helpful gesture, but also for friendships, neighbors, good health, the beauty of nature, and so forth. Even reflecting on and appreciating the “good” that comes out of a difficult or bad situation can serve to model an attitude of gratitude.
- Teach children how to express thankfulness. Children should be taught from a very early age to say “thank you.” Parents also can help young children to write thank-you notes for gifts or other kind gestures. These habits may, in time, help to develop heartfelt gratitude. Parents also can help children learn to express gratitude in other ways. Family members, including very young children, can take turns sharing what they are grateful for during mealtime or before bed. Or children can count their blessings through prayer.
- Help children develop empathy. Gratitude is a complex, social emotion that develops as a child becomes less self-focused and more aware of other people’s feelings. “Empathy comes first,” says Froh. To help children step into another person’s shoes, ask questions such as, “How do you think Jane felt after losing the soccer game?” or “Jack is taking his first trip in an airplane. How would you feel if you were him?”
- Help children to see when kind or helpful deeds are done by choice and at some cost to the good-doer. To feel grateful, a child must recognize that a helpful or kind gesture was done on purpose for the child’s sake and that doing so came at some cost. Parents can help children understand these points. Froh gives this example: “It was really thoughtful of Will to share his snack with you today so that you would not be hungry at school, especially since his mom packed cookies as a special treat.”
Froh notes the importance of teaching children that “cost” means more than money, such as resources, time, a missed opportunity, or as in this example, the pleasure of enjoying all the cookies for oneself.
- Do not spoil children. Froh notes that entitled kids struggle to value the role other people, situations and events play in their lives. Overpraising children for a good grade, for example, fails to acknowledge the role of other contributing factors, such as a good teacher or the help of a tutor. Parents who value status and stuff also may thwart the development of gratitude. Materialistic values are inwardly focused whereas gratitude is an outwardly focused concept, says Froh.
The take-home message for parents, says Froh, is that kids who see their parents value the world around them and express gratitude openly and often are likely to follow in their footsteps.
Resources
Greater Good Science Center
University of California, Berkeley
2425 Atherton St. #6070
Berkeley, CA 94720-6070
(510) 642-2490
www.greatergood.berkeley.edu
Thanks: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons. Mariner, 2008.