Self-talk is the voice inside your head that judges your every move. Sometimes it brings you down. But it also has the power to lift your mood.
What does your self-talk sound like? Is it full of negative messages that cause you to feel a few of these feelings regularly?
- Anxiety
- Guilt
- Insecurity/self-loathing
- Bitterness
- Frustration
- Despair
The list is endless, isn’t it? We’re designed to feel a range of feelings, pleasant as well as uncomfortable ones. It’s part of being human. But have you ever wondered whether you might be able to experience less misery and claim more peace in your life? Perhaps you can.
What feeds the self-talk?
The way you talk to yourself has been fed over the years by:
- Your parents or guardians
- Your other family members
- Authority figures in your life
- Your peers
- The media and your culture
- Your circumstances, good or bad
- Your own responses to all of the above
Self-talk is also influenced by:
- Your mood
- Your health
- Sleep, nutrition, exercise, etc.
What’s playing right now?
Are you ready to take a close look at your self-talk? Don’t try to change it, just listen to what you say to yourself throughout the day. Sometimes it takes a negative emotion to help us catch the voice more easily. Are you feeling anxious? See if you are thinking, “What if this terrible thing happens?” or “I know something catastrophic will happen to me.” It’s hard to relax with those thoughts lurking about.
Spend a few minutes writing down your thoughts when you feel miserable.
Changing self-talk
Now that you have some sense of your negative self-talk, what should you do about it? First, remind yourself that thoughts happen. Good ones, boring ones, odd ones, you name it. Don’t try to control every thought you have. Just tell yourself that thinking it doesn’t make it true. Everyone's thoughts are full of errors, untruths, distortions, misperceptions, etc.
Accept that a low mood generates negative thinking. Neither the mood nor the thinking has to be taken seriously. You can also try these ideas:
- Talk to the negative voice (out loud or in your head). Tell it to stop.
- Tone down the message. If you think in extreme terms such as “always” or “never,” try changing the message to “sometimes.”
- Keep a journal. Write dialogue between your negative self-talk and someone who loves you. For example, “You sounded ridiculous talking to that person,” could be countered with “Relax. That person might have been just as concerned about how they sounded to you.” Record all the good things that happen to you.
- Feed yourself positive self-talk. Expose yourself to uplifting people, books and environments. Try out a few positive messages now and then, such as “It’s OK to have flaws,” or “I have so much to be thankful for.”
- Laugh at the negative voice, if possible. Picture your worries as a naughty child and shoo them into a corner for “time out.” They can’t come back until they’re ready to behave.
- Practice relaxation: use deep breathing techniques, stretches, warm baths or other healthy ways to relax.and ease the tension that can bring about troublesome thoughts.
- Ask for proof. Ask yourself, “Where is the proof that these negative thoughts are true?”
Getting started
Does it all sound too complicated or overwhelming? That’s your self-talk saying “I can’t change” or “I’m beyond hope and could never see myself differently.” Remember to begin by getting to know your self-talk. No pressure to change, just try to acknowledge that you think a few self-defeating thoughts now and then. If you then can accept that not every negative belief you have about yourself and others is true, you are ready to grow into a new level of peace and emotional maturity.
Self-talk is the voice inside your head that judges your every move. Sometimes it brings you down. But it also has the power to lift your mood.
What does your self-talk sound like? Is it full of negative messages that cause you to feel a few of these feelings regularly?
- Anxiety
- Guilt
- Insecurity/self-loathing
- Bitterness
- Frustration
- Despair
The list is endless, isn’t it? We’re designed to feel a range of feelings, pleasant as well as uncomfortable ones. It’s part of being human. But have you ever wondered whether you might be able to experience less misery and claim more peace in your life? Perhaps you can.
What feeds the self-talk?
The way you talk to yourself has been fed over the years by:
- Your parents or guardians
- Your other family members
- Authority figures in your life
- Your peers
- The media and your culture
- Your circumstances, good or bad
- Your own responses to all of the above
Self-talk is also influenced by:
- Your mood
- Your health
- Sleep, nutrition, exercise, etc.
What’s playing right now?
Are you ready to take a close look at your self-talk? Don’t try to change it, just listen to what you say to yourself throughout the day. Sometimes it takes a negative emotion to help us catch the voice more easily. Are you feeling anxious? See if you are thinking, “What if this terrible thing happens?” or “I know something catastrophic will happen to me.” It’s hard to relax with those thoughts lurking about.
Spend a few minutes writing down your thoughts when you feel miserable.
Changing self-talk
Now that you have some sense of your negative self-talk, what should you do about it? First, remind yourself that thoughts happen. Good ones, boring ones, odd ones, you name it. Don’t try to control every thought you have. Just tell yourself that thinking it doesn’t make it true. Everyone's thoughts are full of errors, untruths, distortions, misperceptions, etc.
Accept that a low mood generates negative thinking. Neither the mood nor the thinking has to be taken seriously. You can also try these ideas:
- Talk to the negative voice (out loud or in your head). Tell it to stop.
- Tone down the message. If you think in extreme terms such as “always” or “never,” try changing the message to “sometimes.”
- Keep a journal. Write dialogue between your negative self-talk and someone who loves you. For example, “You sounded ridiculous talking to that person,” could be countered with “Relax. That person might have been just as concerned about how they sounded to you.” Record all the good things that happen to you.
- Feed yourself positive self-talk. Expose yourself to uplifting people, books and environments. Try out a few positive messages now and then, such as “It’s OK to have flaws,” or “I have so much to be thankful for.”
- Laugh at the negative voice, if possible. Picture your worries as a naughty child and shoo them into a corner for “time out.” They can’t come back until they’re ready to behave.
- Practice relaxation: use deep breathing techniques, stretches, warm baths or other healthy ways to relax.and ease the tension that can bring about troublesome thoughts.
- Ask for proof. Ask yourself, “Where is the proof that these negative thoughts are true?”
Getting started
Does it all sound too complicated or overwhelming? That’s your self-talk saying “I can’t change” or “I’m beyond hope and could never see myself differently.” Remember to begin by getting to know your self-talk. No pressure to change, just try to acknowledge that you think a few self-defeating thoughts now and then. If you then can accept that not every negative belief you have about yourself and others is true, you are ready to grow into a new level of peace and emotional maturity.
Self-talk is the voice inside your head that judges your every move. Sometimes it brings you down. But it also has the power to lift your mood.
What does your self-talk sound like? Is it full of negative messages that cause you to feel a few of these feelings regularly?
- Anxiety
- Guilt
- Insecurity/self-loathing
- Bitterness
- Frustration
- Despair
The list is endless, isn’t it? We’re designed to feel a range of feelings, pleasant as well as uncomfortable ones. It’s part of being human. But have you ever wondered whether you might be able to experience less misery and claim more peace in your life? Perhaps you can.
What feeds the self-talk?
The way you talk to yourself has been fed over the years by:
- Your parents or guardians
- Your other family members
- Authority figures in your life
- Your peers
- The media and your culture
- Your circumstances, good or bad
- Your own responses to all of the above
Self-talk is also influenced by:
- Your mood
- Your health
- Sleep, nutrition, exercise, etc.
What’s playing right now?
Are you ready to take a close look at your self-talk? Don’t try to change it, just listen to what you say to yourself throughout the day. Sometimes it takes a negative emotion to help us catch the voice more easily. Are you feeling anxious? See if you are thinking, “What if this terrible thing happens?” or “I know something catastrophic will happen to me.” It’s hard to relax with those thoughts lurking about.
Spend a few minutes writing down your thoughts when you feel miserable.
Changing self-talk
Now that you have some sense of your negative self-talk, what should you do about it? First, remind yourself that thoughts happen. Good ones, boring ones, odd ones, you name it. Don’t try to control every thought you have. Just tell yourself that thinking it doesn’t make it true. Everyone's thoughts are full of errors, untruths, distortions, misperceptions, etc.
Accept that a low mood generates negative thinking. Neither the mood nor the thinking has to be taken seriously. You can also try these ideas:
- Talk to the negative voice (out loud or in your head). Tell it to stop.
- Tone down the message. If you think in extreme terms such as “always” or “never,” try changing the message to “sometimes.”
- Keep a journal. Write dialogue between your negative self-talk and someone who loves you. For example, “You sounded ridiculous talking to that person,” could be countered with “Relax. That person might have been just as concerned about how they sounded to you.” Record all the good things that happen to you.
- Feed yourself positive self-talk. Expose yourself to uplifting people, books and environments. Try out a few positive messages now and then, such as “It’s OK to have flaws,” or “I have so much to be thankful for.”
- Laugh at the negative voice, if possible. Picture your worries as a naughty child and shoo them into a corner for “time out.” They can’t come back until they’re ready to behave.
- Practice relaxation: use deep breathing techniques, stretches, warm baths or other healthy ways to relax.and ease the tension that can bring about troublesome thoughts.
- Ask for proof. Ask yourself, “Where is the proof that these negative thoughts are true?”
Getting started
Does it all sound too complicated or overwhelming? That’s your self-talk saying “I can’t change” or “I’m beyond hope and could never see myself differently.” Remember to begin by getting to know your self-talk. No pressure to change, just try to acknowledge that you think a few self-defeating thoughts now and then. If you then can accept that not every negative belief you have about yourself and others is true, you are ready to grow into a new level of peace and emotional maturity.