Developing Trust With Your Child

Reviewed Feb 15, 2021

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Summary

  • Trust is not taught as much as it is learned.
  • You can instill trust in your child at any age.
  • The goal is to prepare your child to be a responsible, trustworthy adult.

Your child depends on you. This is true whether he is age 2 or age 12. The bond you create with your child builds a foundation of trust. This will help them develop into a healthy, trusting adult. No matter what your child’s age, there are steps you can take to instill trust.

Newborns

Your baby enters this world helpless. They require your constant attention. They rely on you for their every need. You feed, change, bathe and dress your child. You keep them warm, dry, healthy and safe. Through this process, your child learns to trust you. But you satisfy so much more than just your baby’s physical needs. You also meet their emotional needs. You hold, touch and kiss your baby. You comfort them when they cry. You gently rock them in your arms and sing them to sleep. All of these acts of love help form a bond of trust between you and your child.

Toddlers

As your baby grows into a toddler, they start to become more independent. They begin to crawl and walk and explore. You find you have to keep more things locked up and out of their reach. Despite taking these safety measures, you should also encourage your child’s newfound curiosity. Creating a safe environment for them to explore helps your child grow more confident and secure.

You may also notice that your child is starting to test your authority. This is to be expected. Resist the impulse to react in anger. Instead, respond in a firm but calm manner that shows you are in control. Think of discipline as a way of guiding your child, rather than punishing them. Using short “time outs,” for instance, will teach them that there are consequences for their actions. By setting clear rules that are consistently enforced, your child will learn to respect you. Be sure to always explain the purpose of each rule. This will enable them to realize you are trying to help them, not hurt them.

Middle childhood

Your school-aged child is becoming exposed to a far greater sphere of influences. They have begun to make new friends. They are also starting to see how they compare  and relate with others. Peer pressure, teasing and bullying are very common at this age. It is important that your child has enough self-esteem to resist such negative influences.

You can help your child by staying involved. Talk to them about their school day and the pressures they are facing. Make sure they know they can always discuss any issue with you. Show them you care by attending their school events. Get to know their friends and their friends’ parents. Build your child’s confidence by encouraging them to get involved in music, sports or other activities.

Teenage years
 
The teenage years can be a very stressful time for both you and your child. Your teen is going through many physical, mental and emotional changes. Hormones and mood swings affect their looks. Your teen is starting to spend more time with friends and less time with family. They may express themself through clothing, hairstyle and music choices.

All of these issues can cause problems at home. Parents must stay engaged with their teen but not do anything to destroy their trust. Choose your battles, and make compromises when needed. When there is a conflict, make sure you listen to and respect your teen’s opinion. Respond to the underlying issue, rather than just reacting in the moment. When you make a mistake, admit it. When discipline is needed, such as taking away privileges, make sure your teen understands why. Do your best to guide them into making their own good decisions. Remember, the goal is to prepare your child to become a responsible, trustworthy adult.

Trust takes time

Trust is not taught as much as it is learned. It does not develop overnight, but over time. As a parent, you have the opportunity and the responsibility to demonstrate trust to your child. In doing so, you will help your child to become an adult who trusts and can be trusted. 

 

By Kevin Rizzo
Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/index.html; National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, http://www.nichd.nih.gov/publications/pubs/adv_in_parenting/Pages/rpm3.aspx; American Psychological Association, http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/communication-parents.aspx and http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/teen-years.aspx; U.S. Department of Health and Human Services/Child Welfare Information Gateway, https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/res_guide_2009/ch_six_bond.pdf and https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/res_packet_2008/ch_three_rules.pdf

Summary

  • Trust is not taught as much as it is learned.
  • You can instill trust in your child at any age.
  • The goal is to prepare your child to be a responsible, trustworthy adult.

Your child depends on you. This is true whether he is age 2 or age 12. The bond you create with your child builds a foundation of trust. This will help them develop into a healthy, trusting adult. No matter what your child’s age, there are steps you can take to instill trust.

Newborns

Your baby enters this world helpless. They require your constant attention. They rely on you for their every need. You feed, change, bathe and dress your child. You keep them warm, dry, healthy and safe. Through this process, your child learns to trust you. But you satisfy so much more than just your baby’s physical needs. You also meet their emotional needs. You hold, touch and kiss your baby. You comfort them when they cry. You gently rock them in your arms and sing them to sleep. All of these acts of love help form a bond of trust between you and your child.

Toddlers

As your baby grows into a toddler, they start to become more independent. They begin to crawl and walk and explore. You find you have to keep more things locked up and out of their reach. Despite taking these safety measures, you should also encourage your child’s newfound curiosity. Creating a safe environment for them to explore helps your child grow more confident and secure.

You may also notice that your child is starting to test your authority. This is to be expected. Resist the impulse to react in anger. Instead, respond in a firm but calm manner that shows you are in control. Think of discipline as a way of guiding your child, rather than punishing them. Using short “time outs,” for instance, will teach them that there are consequences for their actions. By setting clear rules that are consistently enforced, your child will learn to respect you. Be sure to always explain the purpose of each rule. This will enable them to realize you are trying to help them, not hurt them.

Middle childhood

Your school-aged child is becoming exposed to a far greater sphere of influences. They have begun to make new friends. They are also starting to see how they compare  and relate with others. Peer pressure, teasing and bullying are very common at this age. It is important that your child has enough self-esteem to resist such negative influences.

You can help your child by staying involved. Talk to them about their school day and the pressures they are facing. Make sure they know they can always discuss any issue with you. Show them you care by attending their school events. Get to know their friends and their friends’ parents. Build your child’s confidence by encouraging them to get involved in music, sports or other activities.

Teenage years
 
The teenage years can be a very stressful time for both you and your child. Your teen is going through many physical, mental and emotional changes. Hormones and mood swings affect their looks. Your teen is starting to spend more time with friends and less time with family. They may express themself through clothing, hairstyle and music choices.

All of these issues can cause problems at home. Parents must stay engaged with their teen but not do anything to destroy their trust. Choose your battles, and make compromises when needed. When there is a conflict, make sure you listen to and respect your teen’s opinion. Respond to the underlying issue, rather than just reacting in the moment. When you make a mistake, admit it. When discipline is needed, such as taking away privileges, make sure your teen understands why. Do your best to guide them into making their own good decisions. Remember, the goal is to prepare your child to become a responsible, trustworthy adult.

Trust takes time

Trust is not taught as much as it is learned. It does not develop overnight, but over time. As a parent, you have the opportunity and the responsibility to demonstrate trust to your child. In doing so, you will help your child to become an adult who trusts and can be trusted. 

 

By Kevin Rizzo
Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/index.html; National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, http://www.nichd.nih.gov/publications/pubs/adv_in_parenting/Pages/rpm3.aspx; American Psychological Association, http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/communication-parents.aspx and http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/teen-years.aspx; U.S. Department of Health and Human Services/Child Welfare Information Gateway, https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/res_guide_2009/ch_six_bond.pdf and https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/res_packet_2008/ch_three_rules.pdf

Summary

  • Trust is not taught as much as it is learned.
  • You can instill trust in your child at any age.
  • The goal is to prepare your child to be a responsible, trustworthy adult.

Your child depends on you. This is true whether he is age 2 or age 12. The bond you create with your child builds a foundation of trust. This will help them develop into a healthy, trusting adult. No matter what your child’s age, there are steps you can take to instill trust.

Newborns

Your baby enters this world helpless. They require your constant attention. They rely on you for their every need. You feed, change, bathe and dress your child. You keep them warm, dry, healthy and safe. Through this process, your child learns to trust you. But you satisfy so much more than just your baby’s physical needs. You also meet their emotional needs. You hold, touch and kiss your baby. You comfort them when they cry. You gently rock them in your arms and sing them to sleep. All of these acts of love help form a bond of trust between you and your child.

Toddlers

As your baby grows into a toddler, they start to become more independent. They begin to crawl and walk and explore. You find you have to keep more things locked up and out of their reach. Despite taking these safety measures, you should also encourage your child’s newfound curiosity. Creating a safe environment for them to explore helps your child grow more confident and secure.

You may also notice that your child is starting to test your authority. This is to be expected. Resist the impulse to react in anger. Instead, respond in a firm but calm manner that shows you are in control. Think of discipline as a way of guiding your child, rather than punishing them. Using short “time outs,” for instance, will teach them that there are consequences for their actions. By setting clear rules that are consistently enforced, your child will learn to respect you. Be sure to always explain the purpose of each rule. This will enable them to realize you are trying to help them, not hurt them.

Middle childhood

Your school-aged child is becoming exposed to a far greater sphere of influences. They have begun to make new friends. They are also starting to see how they compare  and relate with others. Peer pressure, teasing and bullying are very common at this age. It is important that your child has enough self-esteem to resist such negative influences.

You can help your child by staying involved. Talk to them about their school day and the pressures they are facing. Make sure they know they can always discuss any issue with you. Show them you care by attending their school events. Get to know their friends and their friends’ parents. Build your child’s confidence by encouraging them to get involved in music, sports or other activities.

Teenage years
 
The teenage years can be a very stressful time for both you and your child. Your teen is going through many physical, mental and emotional changes. Hormones and mood swings affect their looks. Your teen is starting to spend more time with friends and less time with family. They may express themself through clothing, hairstyle and music choices.

All of these issues can cause problems at home. Parents must stay engaged with their teen but not do anything to destroy their trust. Choose your battles, and make compromises when needed. When there is a conflict, make sure you listen to and respect your teen’s opinion. Respond to the underlying issue, rather than just reacting in the moment. When you make a mistake, admit it. When discipline is needed, such as taking away privileges, make sure your teen understands why. Do your best to guide them into making their own good decisions. Remember, the goal is to prepare your child to become a responsible, trustworthy adult.

Trust takes time

Trust is not taught as much as it is learned. It does not develop overnight, but over time. As a parent, you have the opportunity and the responsibility to demonstrate trust to your child. In doing so, you will help your child to become an adult who trusts and can be trusted. 

 

By Kevin Rizzo
Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/index.html; National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, http://www.nichd.nih.gov/publications/pubs/adv_in_parenting/Pages/rpm3.aspx; American Psychological Association, http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/communication-parents.aspx and http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/teen-years.aspx; U.S. Department of Health and Human Services/Child Welfare Information Gateway, https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/res_guide_2009/ch_six_bond.pdf and https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/res_packet_2008/ch_three_rules.pdf

The information provided on the Achieve Solutions site, including, but not limited to, articles, assessments, and other general information, is for informational purposes only and should not be treated as medical, health care, psychiatric, psychological, or behavioral health care advice. Nothing contained on the Achieve Solutions site is intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment or as a substitute for consultation with a qualified health care professional. Please direct questions regarding the operation of the Achieve Solutions site to Web Feedback. If you have concerns about your health, please contact your health care provider.  ©Carelon Behavioral Health

 

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