Summary
- Changes in behavior or appearance may be signs of abuse.
- It is good to be supportive, but you cannot save someone else from abuse.
- You can help by mentioning your concerns, being positive, and sharing information.
Is it possible that my friend or co-worker is being abused?
Sadly, the answer is yes. Abuse is widespread in the United States. Race, religion and money do not matter. Abuse affects people in all groups. Women are more likely to be abused, but men can also face abuse.
Twenty-five percent of women and 14% of men have reported experiencing physically violent abuse. That number rises to almost half of Americans if we include non-physical abuse. That is more than one billion people.
What is abuse?
Abuse means poor treatment used to harm or control someone. Types of abuse include:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Sexual
- Financial
- Digital harassment
Take all forms of abuse seriously. It can lead to physical and even deadly violence.
Elizabeth’s husband did not pick up their children one day. Elizabeth thought Wednesdays were his day. Ron said no. He said Wednesdays always were her days. He called her stupid. He often told her she remembered things wrong. Elizabeth was confused. She asked Ron if he was sure. She remembered that Wednesdays were his days. Ron became furious. He threw his coffee cup at her. It missed her head and smashed on the wall. Elizabeth flinched. She felt bad for Ron. It must be hard living with her, she thought.
How can I tell if a friend or co-worker is being abused?
Ask yourself:
- Have they changed their dress, hygiene or overall appearance?
- Do they withdraw from friendships or social gatherings?
- Are they often late or absent from work or school?
- Are they touchy about their personal life?
- Has their work performance declined?
- Does their partner show up at work or school?
- Do you observe disruptive phone calls, emails or texts?
- Have you seen bruising or other injuries? Do they have frequent accidents?
- Have they changed their spending habits or suddenly need loans?
- Do they seem overly nervous or anxious?
- Do they complain about poor treatment?
I think my friend or co-worker is being abused: should I get involved?
The answer is yes…but do it gently. You cannot save anyone from abuse. People must be involved in their own care. What you can do is be helpful and supportive.
Abuse is serious. People who experience abuse may deal with:
- Fear of the future
- Behavioral and physical health issues
- Unhealthy habits
- Depression, anxiety or insomnia
- Substance use disorder
- Thinking about or attempting suicide
Support from a friend or co-worker may help. Some people who experience abuse may not recognize it. Others feel alone or trapped. Your support may make them feel less alone. It may help them try to change the situation.
How do I help?
Talk to your friend or co-worker privately. Explain what you have seen. Express your concern. Ask: Are you OK? What is going on? Tell them: I believe you. It is not your fault. No one deserves to be abused. Remind them that they are valued.
They may choose to talk to you. Listen without judgment or commenting. They may deny any abuse or not want to talk to you. Respect their choice.
Encourage them to make a plan for physical and financial safety. Urge them to seek help and find resources, like hotlines, information or counseling.
Remember, you are there for support. The best way to do that is to listen. Do not try to explain the cause of the abuse. Do not give advice about their behavior or avoiding abuse. Never insist that they leave. Abuse is complex and control is always an issue. You do not know what kind of damage the other person may do.
Resources
Domestic Abuse Intervention Services
800-747-4045
Loveisrespect.org
866-331-9474
National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-7233
Summary
- Changes in behavior or appearance may be signs of abuse.
- It is good to be supportive, but you cannot save someone else from abuse.
- You can help by mentioning your concerns, being positive, and sharing information.
Is it possible that my friend or co-worker is being abused?
Sadly, the answer is yes. Abuse is widespread in the United States. Race, religion and money do not matter. Abuse affects people in all groups. Women are more likely to be abused, but men can also face abuse.
Twenty-five percent of women and 14% of men have reported experiencing physically violent abuse. That number rises to almost half of Americans if we include non-physical abuse. That is more than one billion people.
What is abuse?
Abuse means poor treatment used to harm or control someone. Types of abuse include:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Sexual
- Financial
- Digital harassment
Take all forms of abuse seriously. It can lead to physical and even deadly violence.
Elizabeth’s husband did not pick up their children one day. Elizabeth thought Wednesdays were his day. Ron said no. He said Wednesdays always were her days. He called her stupid. He often told her she remembered things wrong. Elizabeth was confused. She asked Ron if he was sure. She remembered that Wednesdays were his days. Ron became furious. He threw his coffee cup at her. It missed her head and smashed on the wall. Elizabeth flinched. She felt bad for Ron. It must be hard living with her, she thought.
How can I tell if a friend or co-worker is being abused?
Ask yourself:
- Have they changed their dress, hygiene or overall appearance?
- Do they withdraw from friendships or social gatherings?
- Are they often late or absent from work or school?
- Are they touchy about their personal life?
- Has their work performance declined?
- Does their partner show up at work or school?
- Do you observe disruptive phone calls, emails or texts?
- Have you seen bruising or other injuries? Do they have frequent accidents?
- Have they changed their spending habits or suddenly need loans?
- Do they seem overly nervous or anxious?
- Do they complain about poor treatment?
I think my friend or co-worker is being abused: should I get involved?
The answer is yes…but do it gently. You cannot save anyone from abuse. People must be involved in their own care. What you can do is be helpful and supportive.
Abuse is serious. People who experience abuse may deal with:
- Fear of the future
- Behavioral and physical health issues
- Unhealthy habits
- Depression, anxiety or insomnia
- Substance use disorder
- Thinking about or attempting suicide
Support from a friend or co-worker may help. Some people who experience abuse may not recognize it. Others feel alone or trapped. Your support may make them feel less alone. It may help them try to change the situation.
How do I help?
Talk to your friend or co-worker privately. Explain what you have seen. Express your concern. Ask: Are you OK? What is going on? Tell them: I believe you. It is not your fault. No one deserves to be abused. Remind them that they are valued.
They may choose to talk to you. Listen without judgment or commenting. They may deny any abuse or not want to talk to you. Respect their choice.
Encourage them to make a plan for physical and financial safety. Urge them to seek help and find resources, like hotlines, information or counseling.
Remember, you are there for support. The best way to do that is to listen. Do not try to explain the cause of the abuse. Do not give advice about their behavior or avoiding abuse. Never insist that they leave. Abuse is complex and control is always an issue. You do not know what kind of damage the other person may do.
Resources
Domestic Abuse Intervention Services
800-747-4045
Loveisrespect.org
866-331-9474
National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-7233
Summary
- Changes in behavior or appearance may be signs of abuse.
- It is good to be supportive, but you cannot save someone else from abuse.
- You can help by mentioning your concerns, being positive, and sharing information.
Is it possible that my friend or co-worker is being abused?
Sadly, the answer is yes. Abuse is widespread in the United States. Race, religion and money do not matter. Abuse affects people in all groups. Women are more likely to be abused, but men can also face abuse.
Twenty-five percent of women and 14% of men have reported experiencing physically violent abuse. That number rises to almost half of Americans if we include non-physical abuse. That is more than one billion people.
What is abuse?
Abuse means poor treatment used to harm or control someone. Types of abuse include:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Sexual
- Financial
- Digital harassment
Take all forms of abuse seriously. It can lead to physical and even deadly violence.
Elizabeth’s husband did not pick up their children one day. Elizabeth thought Wednesdays were his day. Ron said no. He said Wednesdays always were her days. He called her stupid. He often told her she remembered things wrong. Elizabeth was confused. She asked Ron if he was sure. She remembered that Wednesdays were his days. Ron became furious. He threw his coffee cup at her. It missed her head and smashed on the wall. Elizabeth flinched. She felt bad for Ron. It must be hard living with her, she thought.
How can I tell if a friend or co-worker is being abused?
Ask yourself:
- Have they changed their dress, hygiene or overall appearance?
- Do they withdraw from friendships or social gatherings?
- Are they often late or absent from work or school?
- Are they touchy about their personal life?
- Has their work performance declined?
- Does their partner show up at work or school?
- Do you observe disruptive phone calls, emails or texts?
- Have you seen bruising or other injuries? Do they have frequent accidents?
- Have they changed their spending habits or suddenly need loans?
- Do they seem overly nervous or anxious?
- Do they complain about poor treatment?
I think my friend or co-worker is being abused: should I get involved?
The answer is yes…but do it gently. You cannot save anyone from abuse. People must be involved in their own care. What you can do is be helpful and supportive.
Abuse is serious. People who experience abuse may deal with:
- Fear of the future
- Behavioral and physical health issues
- Unhealthy habits
- Depression, anxiety or insomnia
- Substance use disorder
- Thinking about or attempting suicide
Support from a friend or co-worker may help. Some people who experience abuse may not recognize it. Others feel alone or trapped. Your support may make them feel less alone. It may help them try to change the situation.
How do I help?
Talk to your friend or co-worker privately. Explain what you have seen. Express your concern. Ask: Are you OK? What is going on? Tell them: I believe you. It is not your fault. No one deserves to be abused. Remind them that they are valued.
They may choose to talk to you. Listen without judgment or commenting. They may deny any abuse or not want to talk to you. Respect their choice.
Encourage them to make a plan for physical and financial safety. Urge them to seek help and find resources, like hotlines, information or counseling.
Remember, you are there for support. The best way to do that is to listen. Do not try to explain the cause of the abuse. Do not give advice about their behavior or avoiding abuse. Never insist that they leave. Abuse is complex and control is always an issue. You do not know what kind of damage the other person may do.
Resources
Domestic Abuse Intervention Services
800-747-4045
Loveisrespect.org
866-331-9474
National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-7233