You’ve found a new partner that you love enough to create a blended family. You might have one or more children from an earlier marriage or relationship. Or your partner has several. There are so many variables on how this new family will get along. It depends on the ages, stages and length of time that the members have known each other. Whatever the combination, a blended family can add an extra test to a new relationship. It’s vital to strive for a strong union because you will have issues.
If you’re the new parent
You might have lots of experience or none when it comes to kids. Either way, there are a few ideas to keep in mind as you become a stepparent.
Slow and steady wins the race. Your stepchild is likely recovering from the previous family dynamic they came from. Don’t expect them to welcome you with open arms. They might not trust other adults or fear you might not be around long. Try not to take it personally and let them know you will be there for them.
You’re not replacing anyone. Whether the biological parent is in the picture, let your stepchild know you have no plans to replace their mom or dad. Don’t criticize their biological parents in any way—even if they deserve it from your viewpoint. Your role is to support your partner and be an advocate for their child.
Keep your relationship strong. Talk with your partner about disciplinary goals before issues come up. Talk about finances and where expenses for the child(ren) will come from. These are two of the hardest issues within any marriage or relationship that involves kids. Let your spouse or partner know if you are having a hard time with their child and work on ways to fix it.
If your partner is the new parent
It may have been you and your child for years, but now you are adding a spouse to your small family. Learn how to keep your marriage or partnership strong.
Don’t set unrealistic expectations. You find it easy to love your child and love your partner, but they might not find it as easy to love each other. Earning trust and respect takes time. Let them both know that your love for them has not changed in order to have the other in your life. They will eventually form a relationship that works for them.
Let them know what is on your mind. Don’t keep them in the dark about discipline strategies, money matters or other issues. Be clear about family goals and what your child and you need to make them happen. Even though your partner will not be replacing the other parent, they are still helping with the household and should know what is going on.
Suggest house rules and traditions. You likely have some already, but when you have new family members, these areas need a tune up. Allow the parents and children to both give ideas to keep the household running smoothly. Make a warm and open setting where your partner and child can feel comfortable bringing issues to you, and in time, to each other. As far as customs and holidays go, this is your chance to make something specific and special to your new family group. Again, let the adults and children talk.
Adding in other family
Even if it seems hardest with kids, adding any family to a household can take time. In the case of older parents, the adult child can feel stuck in the middle between making their parents, spouse or partner, and kids happy. If you’re bringing in a foster child, wayward sister, or close friend that needs extra help, the family dynamic will change.
Blended families are just that. They are a mixture of many types of personalities that come together under the same roof. As long as there is a healthy dose of love and respect, the blending might not be perfect, but it can be a rewarding experience for all.
You’ve found a new partner that you love enough to create a blended family. You might have one or more children from an earlier marriage or relationship. Or your partner has several. There are so many variables on how this new family will get along. It depends on the ages, stages and length of time that the members have known each other. Whatever the combination, a blended family can add an extra test to a new relationship. It’s vital to strive for a strong union because you will have issues.
If you’re the new parent
You might have lots of experience or none when it comes to kids. Either way, there are a few ideas to keep in mind as you become a stepparent.
Slow and steady wins the race. Your stepchild is likely recovering from the previous family dynamic they came from. Don’t expect them to welcome you with open arms. They might not trust other adults or fear you might not be around long. Try not to take it personally and let them know you will be there for them.
You’re not replacing anyone. Whether the biological parent is in the picture, let your stepchild know you have no plans to replace their mom or dad. Don’t criticize their biological parents in any way—even if they deserve it from your viewpoint. Your role is to support your partner and be an advocate for their child.
Keep your relationship strong. Talk with your partner about disciplinary goals before issues come up. Talk about finances and where expenses for the child(ren) will come from. These are two of the hardest issues within any marriage or relationship that involves kids. Let your spouse or partner know if you are having a hard time with their child and work on ways to fix it.
If your partner is the new parent
It may have been you and your child for years, but now you are adding a spouse to your small family. Learn how to keep your marriage or partnership strong.
Don’t set unrealistic expectations. You find it easy to love your child and love your partner, but they might not find it as easy to love each other. Earning trust and respect takes time. Let them both know that your love for them has not changed in order to have the other in your life. They will eventually form a relationship that works for them.
Let them know what is on your mind. Don’t keep them in the dark about discipline strategies, money matters or other issues. Be clear about family goals and what your child and you need to make them happen. Even though your partner will not be replacing the other parent, they are still helping with the household and should know what is going on.
Suggest house rules and traditions. You likely have some already, but when you have new family members, these areas need a tune up. Allow the parents and children to both give ideas to keep the household running smoothly. Make a warm and open setting where your partner and child can feel comfortable bringing issues to you, and in time, to each other. As far as customs and holidays go, this is your chance to make something specific and special to your new family group. Again, let the adults and children talk.
Adding in other family
Even if it seems hardest with kids, adding any family to a household can take time. In the case of older parents, the adult child can feel stuck in the middle between making their parents, spouse or partner, and kids happy. If you’re bringing in a foster child, wayward sister, or close friend that needs extra help, the family dynamic will change.
Blended families are just that. They are a mixture of many types of personalities that come together under the same roof. As long as there is a healthy dose of love and respect, the blending might not be perfect, but it can be a rewarding experience for all.
You’ve found a new partner that you love enough to create a blended family. You might have one or more children from an earlier marriage or relationship. Or your partner has several. There are so many variables on how this new family will get along. It depends on the ages, stages and length of time that the members have known each other. Whatever the combination, a blended family can add an extra test to a new relationship. It’s vital to strive for a strong union because you will have issues.
If you’re the new parent
You might have lots of experience or none when it comes to kids. Either way, there are a few ideas to keep in mind as you become a stepparent.
Slow and steady wins the race. Your stepchild is likely recovering from the previous family dynamic they came from. Don’t expect them to welcome you with open arms. They might not trust other adults or fear you might not be around long. Try not to take it personally and let them know you will be there for them.
You’re not replacing anyone. Whether the biological parent is in the picture, let your stepchild know you have no plans to replace their mom or dad. Don’t criticize their biological parents in any way—even if they deserve it from your viewpoint. Your role is to support your partner and be an advocate for their child.
Keep your relationship strong. Talk with your partner about disciplinary goals before issues come up. Talk about finances and where expenses for the child(ren) will come from. These are two of the hardest issues within any marriage or relationship that involves kids. Let your spouse or partner know if you are having a hard time with their child and work on ways to fix it.
If your partner is the new parent
It may have been you and your child for years, but now you are adding a spouse to your small family. Learn how to keep your marriage or partnership strong.
Don’t set unrealistic expectations. You find it easy to love your child and love your partner, but they might not find it as easy to love each other. Earning trust and respect takes time. Let them both know that your love for them has not changed in order to have the other in your life. They will eventually form a relationship that works for them.
Let them know what is on your mind. Don’t keep them in the dark about discipline strategies, money matters or other issues. Be clear about family goals and what your child and you need to make them happen. Even though your partner will not be replacing the other parent, they are still helping with the household and should know what is going on.
Suggest house rules and traditions. You likely have some already, but when you have new family members, these areas need a tune up. Allow the parents and children to both give ideas to keep the household running smoothly. Make a warm and open setting where your partner and child can feel comfortable bringing issues to you, and in time, to each other. As far as customs and holidays go, this is your chance to make something specific and special to your new family group. Again, let the adults and children talk.
Adding in other family
Even if it seems hardest with kids, adding any family to a household can take time. In the case of older parents, the adult child can feel stuck in the middle between making their parents, spouse or partner, and kids happy. If you’re bringing in a foster child, wayward sister, or close friend that needs extra help, the family dynamic will change.
Blended families are just that. They are a mixture of many types of personalities that come together under the same roof. As long as there is a healthy dose of love and respect, the blending might not be perfect, but it can be a rewarding experience for all.