Summary
Consider how your children, finances, and legal issues will be taken care of within your encore marriage.
Getting married for the second (or more) time around? Even if you have logged some years as a spouse, there are many issues to think over when taking on marriage again.
Depending on what point you are at in life, you might have young children from your last marriage or be marrying a spouse who has children. There is also the matter of finances. You and your spouse might not make the same amount of money and will need to settle on your goals as a couple. From a legal standpoint, you might think about a premarital agreement to cover your kids, finances, and more in the event of breakup or death.
When children make more than three
If you’re blending in children from earlier marriages, chances are the family won’t fit as neatly together as you might imagine. That’s OK. It’s hard enough for kids to have a new parental figure, let alone a brother or sister. Kids get very used to family dynamics, and it can be hard for them to change. Adding in new chores, making new household rules, or having new expectations at home can make a child feel angry about the union.
Even though it’s vital for kids to feel loved and cared for, it’s equally as worthy to make sure the new marriage is a strong one. The last marriage didn’t last. It could have been from incompatibility, money worries, or the death of a spouse. You and your new partner will want to have a strong bond not only for your own joy, but to model a good relationship for your kids.
You will also need to have talks with your new partner before the kids are involved. If the other parent is still living, you might face issues from them about the new arrangement. Still, a discussion needs to take place. Ask:
- Which parent is paying for what? Think about daily supplies, schooling, and health bills.
- What will a normal school week look like? Think about getting the child to and from school, helping with homework, and going to teacher meetings.
- How will school breaks be handled? Think about who will take time off of work or other events to be with the child when he is sick or out of school during off days.
Money issues
Finances are one of the biggest breaking points in relationships. Since you have been part of a committed union in the past, you or your new partner might be wary of mixing finances. Still, having some joint funds does make daily and household costs that much simpler to keep up. You might have the issue of choosing which home to keep—meaning one of you will have to move while the other will have to shift items around to make room for you. Or you could have wildly different financial goals about when you want to retire, or how you want to invest your money.
There are some very real money issues to talk over before you say "I do" again:
- Where do you want to live? If you have the financial freedom, choosing a new place might work best for both partners to feel at home.
- How will you pay your expenses? This can involve expenses for your children, but also mortgages or rent, utilities, groceries, and more.
- Will you mix your money or keep it separate? Having at least one joint account for shared living expenses can be helpful.
Premarital agreements
Making a prenuptial agreement (or prenup) is not just for the very rich. It can be for any person who would like to keep their life structure more or less the way it is in case of death or divorce. This involves money, but also keeping assets for your children, and protecting a business or household in your family. People who have had negative divorce outcomes in the past might be more apt to put a prenup in place. But, it can be a difficult conversation to bring up to your new partner.
If you feel like a prenup would be good for you, talk with your partner as soon as you can. You can make one in case of death and the other in case of divorce, and write them with your combined future life in mind.
Consider speaking together to an attorney or financial consultant to help you with these big decisions.
Even though there is much to think over when tying the knot again, there is so much more to gain from a happy, healthy relationship. It’s worth the hard work.
Summary
Consider how your children, finances, and legal issues will be taken care of within your encore marriage.
Getting married for the second (or more) time around? Even if you have logged some years as a spouse, there are many issues to think over when taking on marriage again.
Depending on what point you are at in life, you might have young children from your last marriage or be marrying a spouse who has children. There is also the matter of finances. You and your spouse might not make the same amount of money and will need to settle on your goals as a couple. From a legal standpoint, you might think about a premarital agreement to cover your kids, finances, and more in the event of breakup or death.
When children make more than three
If you’re blending in children from earlier marriages, chances are the family won’t fit as neatly together as you might imagine. That’s OK. It’s hard enough for kids to have a new parental figure, let alone a brother or sister. Kids get very used to family dynamics, and it can be hard for them to change. Adding in new chores, making new household rules, or having new expectations at home can make a child feel angry about the union.
Even though it’s vital for kids to feel loved and cared for, it’s equally as worthy to make sure the new marriage is a strong one. The last marriage didn’t last. It could have been from incompatibility, money worries, or the death of a spouse. You and your new partner will want to have a strong bond not only for your own joy, but to model a good relationship for your kids.
You will also need to have talks with your new partner before the kids are involved. If the other parent is still living, you might face issues from them about the new arrangement. Still, a discussion needs to take place. Ask:
- Which parent is paying for what? Think about daily supplies, schooling, and health bills.
- What will a normal school week look like? Think about getting the child to and from school, helping with homework, and going to teacher meetings.
- How will school breaks be handled? Think about who will take time off of work or other events to be with the child when he is sick or out of school during off days.
Money issues
Finances are one of the biggest breaking points in relationships. Since you have been part of a committed union in the past, you or your new partner might be wary of mixing finances. Still, having some joint funds does make daily and household costs that much simpler to keep up. You might have the issue of choosing which home to keep—meaning one of you will have to move while the other will have to shift items around to make room for you. Or you could have wildly different financial goals about when you want to retire, or how you want to invest your money.
There are some very real money issues to talk over before you say "I do" again:
- Where do you want to live? If you have the financial freedom, choosing a new place might work best for both partners to feel at home.
- How will you pay your expenses? This can involve expenses for your children, but also mortgages or rent, utilities, groceries, and more.
- Will you mix your money or keep it separate? Having at least one joint account for shared living expenses can be helpful.
Premarital agreements
Making a prenuptial agreement (or prenup) is not just for the very rich. It can be for any person who would like to keep their life structure more or less the way it is in case of death or divorce. This involves money, but also keeping assets for your children, and protecting a business or household in your family. People who have had negative divorce outcomes in the past might be more apt to put a prenup in place. But, it can be a difficult conversation to bring up to your new partner.
If you feel like a prenup would be good for you, talk with your partner as soon as you can. You can make one in case of death and the other in case of divorce, and write them with your combined future life in mind.
Consider speaking together to an attorney or financial consultant to help you with these big decisions.
Even though there is much to think over when tying the knot again, there is so much more to gain from a happy, healthy relationship. It’s worth the hard work.
Summary
Consider how your children, finances, and legal issues will be taken care of within your encore marriage.
Getting married for the second (or more) time around? Even if you have logged some years as a spouse, there are many issues to think over when taking on marriage again.
Depending on what point you are at in life, you might have young children from your last marriage or be marrying a spouse who has children. There is also the matter of finances. You and your spouse might not make the same amount of money and will need to settle on your goals as a couple. From a legal standpoint, you might think about a premarital agreement to cover your kids, finances, and more in the event of breakup or death.
When children make more than three
If you’re blending in children from earlier marriages, chances are the family won’t fit as neatly together as you might imagine. That’s OK. It’s hard enough for kids to have a new parental figure, let alone a brother or sister. Kids get very used to family dynamics, and it can be hard for them to change. Adding in new chores, making new household rules, or having new expectations at home can make a child feel angry about the union.
Even though it’s vital for kids to feel loved and cared for, it’s equally as worthy to make sure the new marriage is a strong one. The last marriage didn’t last. It could have been from incompatibility, money worries, or the death of a spouse. You and your new partner will want to have a strong bond not only for your own joy, but to model a good relationship for your kids.
You will also need to have talks with your new partner before the kids are involved. If the other parent is still living, you might face issues from them about the new arrangement. Still, a discussion needs to take place. Ask:
- Which parent is paying for what? Think about daily supplies, schooling, and health bills.
- What will a normal school week look like? Think about getting the child to and from school, helping with homework, and going to teacher meetings.
- How will school breaks be handled? Think about who will take time off of work or other events to be with the child when he is sick or out of school during off days.
Money issues
Finances are one of the biggest breaking points in relationships. Since you have been part of a committed union in the past, you or your new partner might be wary of mixing finances. Still, having some joint funds does make daily and household costs that much simpler to keep up. You might have the issue of choosing which home to keep—meaning one of you will have to move while the other will have to shift items around to make room for you. Or you could have wildly different financial goals about when you want to retire, or how you want to invest your money.
There are some very real money issues to talk over before you say "I do" again:
- Where do you want to live? If you have the financial freedom, choosing a new place might work best for both partners to feel at home.
- How will you pay your expenses? This can involve expenses for your children, but also mortgages or rent, utilities, groceries, and more.
- Will you mix your money or keep it separate? Having at least one joint account for shared living expenses can be helpful.
Premarital agreements
Making a prenuptial agreement (or prenup) is not just for the very rich. It can be for any person who would like to keep their life structure more or less the way it is in case of death or divorce. This involves money, but also keeping assets for your children, and protecting a business or household in your family. People who have had negative divorce outcomes in the past might be more apt to put a prenup in place. But, it can be a difficult conversation to bring up to your new partner.
If you feel like a prenup would be good for you, talk with your partner as soon as you can. You can make one in case of death and the other in case of divorce, and write them with your combined future life in mind.
Consider speaking together to an attorney or financial consultant to help you with these big decisions.
Even though there is much to think over when tying the knot again, there is so much more to gain from a happy, healthy relationship. It’s worth the hard work.