Summary
- Be mindful of the setting and the occasion.
- Be curious, not argumentative.
- Be ready to end a conversation that’s getting too heated.
“Who are you voting for?”
That question, when asked by a friend, relative or co-worker, can produce any number of outcomes. It can lead to a respectful and enlightening conversation that helps bring people together. It can also point in the opposite direction—toward a verbal brawl that leaves no one happy.
Talking politics doesn’t have to go that route, even when feelings are strong. But it takes some care to keep the dialogue civil. And there are at least a few settings in which it would be wise to leave political topics alone.
There is no one agreed-upon code of etiquette for talking politics. But people still need rules of some kind. Here are some tips for keeping political conversations civil:
Consider the context
Political speech is protected by the First Amendment, but it’s not free of social risk. It may be a divisive distraction at a workplace, and it may be out of tune with a wedding reception. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself a few questions about the people around you before bringing up a political topic:
- How well do you know them?
- Could you be mistaking a liberal for a conservative or vice versa?
- If you’ve talked politics with them before, were they respectful or did they go for the jugular?
- If the conversation goes sour, would that ruin someone else’s good time (or cost your company a sale, or break up a team)?
Having weighed these concerns, you should not be afraid to raise a political issue just because people will disagree. Airing of differences, if it’s done right, enriches everyone by exposing them to other points of view and pushing them to examine their own more closely.
Think about your motivation
You also need to ask questions of yourself and consider the following:
- If you feel the urge to turn the conversation toward politics, what’s your goal?
- If you’re secretly spoiling for a fight, you may well get one.
- If you just want to vent your feelings about some issue or politician, be warned that those who disagree with you may feel just as strongly.
- If you want to change someone’s mind, prepare to be frustrated. Deeply held convictions are not easily changed in the space of a conversation. You may even find yourself arguing against someone’s DNA. Research on the political views of identical twins suggests that a tendency to lean right or left may be at least partially inherited.
Be curious, not argumentative
You stand a better chance of having a constructive, friendly discussion if you approach it with the goal of learning. You do not need to make a secret of your own views, but you should be genuinely interested in understanding someone else’s point of view.
When you ask questions, they should be framed as true questions and not as argumentative statements. Don’t ask, “Whatever possessed you to vote for that guy?” Try something more like, “I’m interested in hearing your case for them.”
Can you ask such a question in a way that truly conveys respect and curiosity? Yes. Your intention will show. If it is to “play ‘gotcha,’” the question will come out argumentative. If it is truly curious, that’s how the question will be heard. “f you want to be authentic, you have to make that choice before you engage in conversation.
Know when to pull the plug
Sometimes there’s just no meeting of minds in a political conversation. You know you’ve reached that point when the same points are being repeated, only at higher volume.
Your own emotion may be a signal. If you’re feeling frustrated or defensive, it’s probably time to bow out with a graceful line like these:
- “I guess we just don’t see eye to eye.”
- “I’ll have to consider that.”
- “For me, it’s private.”
You also may have to rule out certain topics with certain friends. There may be some relationships where you discover you just can’t talk about politics with that person.
Summary
- Be mindful of the setting and the occasion.
- Be curious, not argumentative.
- Be ready to end a conversation that’s getting too heated.
“Who are you voting for?”
That question, when asked by a friend, relative or co-worker, can produce any number of outcomes. It can lead to a respectful and enlightening conversation that helps bring people together. It can also point in the opposite direction—toward a verbal brawl that leaves no one happy.
Talking politics doesn’t have to go that route, even when feelings are strong. But it takes some care to keep the dialogue civil. And there are at least a few settings in which it would be wise to leave political topics alone.
There is no one agreed-upon code of etiquette for talking politics. But people still need rules of some kind. Here are some tips for keeping political conversations civil:
Consider the context
Political speech is protected by the First Amendment, but it’s not free of social risk. It may be a divisive distraction at a workplace, and it may be out of tune with a wedding reception. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself a few questions about the people around you before bringing up a political topic:
- How well do you know them?
- Could you be mistaking a liberal for a conservative or vice versa?
- If you’ve talked politics with them before, were they respectful or did they go for the jugular?
- If the conversation goes sour, would that ruin someone else’s good time (or cost your company a sale, or break up a team)?
Having weighed these concerns, you should not be afraid to raise a political issue just because people will disagree. Airing of differences, if it’s done right, enriches everyone by exposing them to other points of view and pushing them to examine their own more closely.
Think about your motivation
You also need to ask questions of yourself and consider the following:
- If you feel the urge to turn the conversation toward politics, what’s your goal?
- If you’re secretly spoiling for a fight, you may well get one.
- If you just want to vent your feelings about some issue or politician, be warned that those who disagree with you may feel just as strongly.
- If you want to change someone’s mind, prepare to be frustrated. Deeply held convictions are not easily changed in the space of a conversation. You may even find yourself arguing against someone’s DNA. Research on the political views of identical twins suggests that a tendency to lean right or left may be at least partially inherited.
Be curious, not argumentative
You stand a better chance of having a constructive, friendly discussion if you approach it with the goal of learning. You do not need to make a secret of your own views, but you should be genuinely interested in understanding someone else’s point of view.
When you ask questions, they should be framed as true questions and not as argumentative statements. Don’t ask, “Whatever possessed you to vote for that guy?” Try something more like, “I’m interested in hearing your case for them.”
Can you ask such a question in a way that truly conveys respect and curiosity? Yes. Your intention will show. If it is to “play ‘gotcha,’” the question will come out argumentative. If it is truly curious, that’s how the question will be heard. “f you want to be authentic, you have to make that choice before you engage in conversation.
Know when to pull the plug
Sometimes there’s just no meeting of minds in a political conversation. You know you’ve reached that point when the same points are being repeated, only at higher volume.
Your own emotion may be a signal. If you’re feeling frustrated or defensive, it’s probably time to bow out with a graceful line like these:
- “I guess we just don’t see eye to eye.”
- “I’ll have to consider that.”
- “For me, it’s private.”
You also may have to rule out certain topics with certain friends. There may be some relationships where you discover you just can’t talk about politics with that person.
Summary
- Be mindful of the setting and the occasion.
- Be curious, not argumentative.
- Be ready to end a conversation that’s getting too heated.
“Who are you voting for?”
That question, when asked by a friend, relative or co-worker, can produce any number of outcomes. It can lead to a respectful and enlightening conversation that helps bring people together. It can also point in the opposite direction—toward a verbal brawl that leaves no one happy.
Talking politics doesn’t have to go that route, even when feelings are strong. But it takes some care to keep the dialogue civil. And there are at least a few settings in which it would be wise to leave political topics alone.
There is no one agreed-upon code of etiquette for talking politics. But people still need rules of some kind. Here are some tips for keeping political conversations civil:
Consider the context
Political speech is protected by the First Amendment, but it’s not free of social risk. It may be a divisive distraction at a workplace, and it may be out of tune with a wedding reception. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself a few questions about the people around you before bringing up a political topic:
- How well do you know them?
- Could you be mistaking a liberal for a conservative or vice versa?
- If you’ve talked politics with them before, were they respectful or did they go for the jugular?
- If the conversation goes sour, would that ruin someone else’s good time (or cost your company a sale, or break up a team)?
Having weighed these concerns, you should not be afraid to raise a political issue just because people will disagree. Airing of differences, if it’s done right, enriches everyone by exposing them to other points of view and pushing them to examine their own more closely.
Think about your motivation
You also need to ask questions of yourself and consider the following:
- If you feel the urge to turn the conversation toward politics, what’s your goal?
- If you’re secretly spoiling for a fight, you may well get one.
- If you just want to vent your feelings about some issue or politician, be warned that those who disagree with you may feel just as strongly.
- If you want to change someone’s mind, prepare to be frustrated. Deeply held convictions are not easily changed in the space of a conversation. You may even find yourself arguing against someone’s DNA. Research on the political views of identical twins suggests that a tendency to lean right or left may be at least partially inherited.
Be curious, not argumentative
You stand a better chance of having a constructive, friendly discussion if you approach it with the goal of learning. You do not need to make a secret of your own views, but you should be genuinely interested in understanding someone else’s point of view.
When you ask questions, they should be framed as true questions and not as argumentative statements. Don’t ask, “Whatever possessed you to vote for that guy?” Try something more like, “I’m interested in hearing your case for them.”
Can you ask such a question in a way that truly conveys respect and curiosity? Yes. Your intention will show. If it is to “play ‘gotcha,’” the question will come out argumentative. If it is truly curious, that’s how the question will be heard. “f you want to be authentic, you have to make that choice before you engage in conversation.
Know when to pull the plug
Sometimes there’s just no meeting of minds in a political conversation. You know you’ve reached that point when the same points are being repeated, only at higher volume.
Your own emotion may be a signal. If you’re feeling frustrated or defensive, it’s probably time to bow out with a graceful line like these:
- “I guess we just don’t see eye to eye.”
- “I’ll have to consider that.”
- “For me, it’s private.”
You also may have to rule out certain topics with certain friends. There may be some relationships where you discover you just can’t talk about politics with that person.