The Romantic Getaway: Reconnecting With Your Partner

Reviewed Feb 26, 2016

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Summary

  • Don't plan too many activities.
  • Include private time for each of you.
  • Talk to each other about your feelings.

After years of focusing on careers, children and other priorities, many partners feel mixed emotions when faced with an opportunity to get away together. Yet research shows how important ongoing intimacy (caring, closeness, sexual relationship and emotional nurturance) is to a relationship. Periodic romantic getaways are one way to help you and your partner stay connected.

Time for each other

What is getting away together really about? Sure, it is to have fun, relax and take a well-needed break from routines. But more importantly, it is time to reconnect with your partner. Avoid overloading your trip itinerary with activities. Leave plenty of unstructured time to be alone together. Enjoying each other's company without expectations will make it easier for you to renew intimacy and communication.

Time for yourself

If possible, plan some private time for yourself. Doing something you enjoy, such as reading a book, going for a jog or taking a bubble bath, is essential to your personal well-being and can enhance your ability to love and be loved.

Reconnecting through communication

Some couples have no problem opening up to each other once they are removed from the hectic pace and constant demands of daily life. Others need to ease into communication. Try smiling at each other, mirroring each other's body position and frequently touching each other in a nonsexual way to increase feelings of intimacy.

When you feel like talking, strive for conversation that provides insight into each other's feelings and emotions. Here are some ideas:

  • What is your favorite memory about our relationship?
  • What initially attracted you to me? What attracts you now?
  • If you could take a year off and do anything you want, what would you do?
  • If you could plan a month-long vacation for us (money is no object), where would we go and what would we do?
  • If you could have just one wish granted, what would it be?
  • How has your definition of love changed over time and with our relationship?
  • How do I help you cope with the struggles and challenges in your life?

When your budget is limited

Do not wait until you can afford your dream vacation to take a romantic getaway. You really do not even need to leave town. Stay overnight at a local bed and breakfast or hotel and then explore where you live as if you are tourists. Although ideally you want to remove yourself from your day-to-day environment, you can even "get away" in your own home. Arrange for your children to spend the night elsewhere. Let the answering machine record all phone messages. With a little imagination and creativity, you and your partner can create the fantasy vacation of your dreams.

By Christine P. Martin
Source: How to Stay Lovers While Raising Your Children by Anne Mayer. Price Stern Sloan, 1990; Renew Your Marriage at Midlife: A Guide to Growing Together in Love by Steve Brody, PhD, and Cathy Brody, MS. Perigee, 1999; Communication Miracles for Couples by Jonathan Robinson. Conari Press, 1997

Summary

  • Don't plan too many activities.
  • Include private time for each of you.
  • Talk to each other about your feelings.

After years of focusing on careers, children and other priorities, many partners feel mixed emotions when faced with an opportunity to get away together. Yet research shows how important ongoing intimacy (caring, closeness, sexual relationship and emotional nurturance) is to a relationship. Periodic romantic getaways are one way to help you and your partner stay connected.

Time for each other

What is getting away together really about? Sure, it is to have fun, relax and take a well-needed break from routines. But more importantly, it is time to reconnect with your partner. Avoid overloading your trip itinerary with activities. Leave plenty of unstructured time to be alone together. Enjoying each other's company without expectations will make it easier for you to renew intimacy and communication.

Time for yourself

If possible, plan some private time for yourself. Doing something you enjoy, such as reading a book, going for a jog or taking a bubble bath, is essential to your personal well-being and can enhance your ability to love and be loved.

Reconnecting through communication

Some couples have no problem opening up to each other once they are removed from the hectic pace and constant demands of daily life. Others need to ease into communication. Try smiling at each other, mirroring each other's body position and frequently touching each other in a nonsexual way to increase feelings of intimacy.

When you feel like talking, strive for conversation that provides insight into each other's feelings and emotions. Here are some ideas:

  • What is your favorite memory about our relationship?
  • What initially attracted you to me? What attracts you now?
  • If you could take a year off and do anything you want, what would you do?
  • If you could plan a month-long vacation for us (money is no object), where would we go and what would we do?
  • If you could have just one wish granted, what would it be?
  • How has your definition of love changed over time and with our relationship?
  • How do I help you cope with the struggles and challenges in your life?

When your budget is limited

Do not wait until you can afford your dream vacation to take a romantic getaway. You really do not even need to leave town. Stay overnight at a local bed and breakfast or hotel and then explore where you live as if you are tourists. Although ideally you want to remove yourself from your day-to-day environment, you can even "get away" in your own home. Arrange for your children to spend the night elsewhere. Let the answering machine record all phone messages. With a little imagination and creativity, you and your partner can create the fantasy vacation of your dreams.

By Christine P. Martin
Source: How to Stay Lovers While Raising Your Children by Anne Mayer. Price Stern Sloan, 1990; Renew Your Marriage at Midlife: A Guide to Growing Together in Love by Steve Brody, PhD, and Cathy Brody, MS. Perigee, 1999; Communication Miracles for Couples by Jonathan Robinson. Conari Press, 1997

Summary

  • Don't plan too many activities.
  • Include private time for each of you.
  • Talk to each other about your feelings.

After years of focusing on careers, children and other priorities, many partners feel mixed emotions when faced with an opportunity to get away together. Yet research shows how important ongoing intimacy (caring, closeness, sexual relationship and emotional nurturance) is to a relationship. Periodic romantic getaways are one way to help you and your partner stay connected.

Time for each other

What is getting away together really about? Sure, it is to have fun, relax and take a well-needed break from routines. But more importantly, it is time to reconnect with your partner. Avoid overloading your trip itinerary with activities. Leave plenty of unstructured time to be alone together. Enjoying each other's company without expectations will make it easier for you to renew intimacy and communication.

Time for yourself

If possible, plan some private time for yourself. Doing something you enjoy, such as reading a book, going for a jog or taking a bubble bath, is essential to your personal well-being and can enhance your ability to love and be loved.

Reconnecting through communication

Some couples have no problem opening up to each other once they are removed from the hectic pace and constant demands of daily life. Others need to ease into communication. Try smiling at each other, mirroring each other's body position and frequently touching each other in a nonsexual way to increase feelings of intimacy.

When you feel like talking, strive for conversation that provides insight into each other's feelings and emotions. Here are some ideas:

  • What is your favorite memory about our relationship?
  • What initially attracted you to me? What attracts you now?
  • If you could take a year off and do anything you want, what would you do?
  • If you could plan a month-long vacation for us (money is no object), where would we go and what would we do?
  • If you could have just one wish granted, what would it be?
  • How has your definition of love changed over time and with our relationship?
  • How do I help you cope with the struggles and challenges in your life?

When your budget is limited

Do not wait until you can afford your dream vacation to take a romantic getaway. You really do not even need to leave town. Stay overnight at a local bed and breakfast or hotel and then explore where you live as if you are tourists. Although ideally you want to remove yourself from your day-to-day environment, you can even "get away" in your own home. Arrange for your children to spend the night elsewhere. Let the answering machine record all phone messages. With a little imagination and creativity, you and your partner can create the fantasy vacation of your dreams.

By Christine P. Martin
Source: How to Stay Lovers While Raising Your Children by Anne Mayer. Price Stern Sloan, 1990; Renew Your Marriage at Midlife: A Guide to Growing Together in Love by Steve Brody, PhD, and Cathy Brody, MS. Perigee, 1999; Communication Miracles for Couples by Jonathan Robinson. Conari Press, 1997

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