How Couples Can Weather Any Storm

Reviewed Jun 25, 2018

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Summary

  • Put your relationship first.
  • Build a two-person team.
  • Set goals and also set up for challenges.
  • Get expert advice.
  • Count your blessings.

No life is without its ups and downs. When a couple’s relationship is strong, the highs tend to be sweeter and the lows easier to manage. In good relationships, partners use times of hardship to reconnect with each other, set goals, and define values. 

Pointers for couples who want to stay together, especially during hard times

  1. Put your relationship first. You chose the relationship so place it at the top of the list of your most prized assets.
  2. Make uninterrupted time to spend time together.
  3. Build a two-person team. A marriage is like a well-run business. It runs best when there is a clear sharing of skills and labor. If you build a good team now, you'll be able to handle tough choices later, knowing the whole burden isn't yours alone.
  4. Communicate early and often, through words and actions. Be clear with each other to avoid misunderstandings. Remember the importance of physical connections, too. Hold hands, touch, give massages, and show your partner you care in every way you can. 
  5. Minimize stress. Control the small stresses so they don’t build up. Consider taking stress management training as a couple. Once you know how to meet a challenge head on and get through it, your stress level will go down. 
  6. Compromise. Fighting when you disagree gets you nowhere. Instead, work together to come to a solution that satisfies you both. Respect each other’s views and be willing to give a little to get a little.  
  7. Set reasonable expectations. People are happier in general when they focus on what is good in their lives rather than on what they want. 
  8. Set goals and also set up for challenges. Be honest with each other—in a loving way—when you set your goals for the long term. Be proactive and decide what you will do if one of you loses a job or if your mortgage payment increases. Develop an action plan based on research and discussion.
  9. Get expert advice. Read books by marriage and family experts, seek solutions-based counseling, or join a reputable marriage training program. Look for courses available through your local school district, nearby colleges, or religious organizations. 
  10. Count your blessings. Be thankful for your relationship and for the partner you have chosen to spend your life with. When we’re most critical of a spouse, we're unhappy with ourselves. Look for the joy and comfort you get out of your marriage. Try to put the negatives aside. Instead of focusing on his sloppiness, remind yourself how great he is with the children. She may always be late, but she's also good at balancing the checkbook. 

Building a strong relationship is hard work, so don't expect to reach your goals in one weekend, or after one couples’ course. You will learn as you go along. When you've been through rough patches and come out stronger on the other side, you can be grateful for the all of the times with your partner, easy or challenging. 

By Paula Hartman Cohen
Source: Eva Ritvo, M.D., psychiatrist and administrator, Miller School of Medicine, University of Miami, and chair of the department of psychiatry and behavioral medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center, NY; Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W., author of Divorce Busting and The Divorce Remedy; Scott Haltzman, M.D., clinical assistant professor, department of psychiatry and human behavior, Brown University, and author of The Secrets of Happy Families and The Secrets of Happily Married Men; Jill Vanderwood, author; James Campbell Quick, Ph.D., professor, University of Texas-Arlington; Debbie Mandell, author and Livestrong.com stress management expert; Dr. Donna Tonrey, marriage and family therapist at La Salle University in Philadelphia; Greg and Priscilla Hunt, certified trainers, Marriage Enrichment, Inc.

Summary

  • Put your relationship first.
  • Build a two-person team.
  • Set goals and also set up for challenges.
  • Get expert advice.
  • Count your blessings.

No life is without its ups and downs. When a couple’s relationship is strong, the highs tend to be sweeter and the lows easier to manage. In good relationships, partners use times of hardship to reconnect with each other, set goals, and define values. 

Pointers for couples who want to stay together, especially during hard times

  1. Put your relationship first. You chose the relationship so place it at the top of the list of your most prized assets.
  2. Make uninterrupted time to spend time together.
  3. Build a two-person team. A marriage is like a well-run business. It runs best when there is a clear sharing of skills and labor. If you build a good team now, you'll be able to handle tough choices later, knowing the whole burden isn't yours alone.
  4. Communicate early and often, through words and actions. Be clear with each other to avoid misunderstandings. Remember the importance of physical connections, too. Hold hands, touch, give massages, and show your partner you care in every way you can. 
  5. Minimize stress. Control the small stresses so they don’t build up. Consider taking stress management training as a couple. Once you know how to meet a challenge head on and get through it, your stress level will go down. 
  6. Compromise. Fighting when you disagree gets you nowhere. Instead, work together to come to a solution that satisfies you both. Respect each other’s views and be willing to give a little to get a little.  
  7. Set reasonable expectations. People are happier in general when they focus on what is good in their lives rather than on what they want. 
  8. Set goals and also set up for challenges. Be honest with each other—in a loving way—when you set your goals for the long term. Be proactive and decide what you will do if one of you loses a job or if your mortgage payment increases. Develop an action plan based on research and discussion.
  9. Get expert advice. Read books by marriage and family experts, seek solutions-based counseling, or join a reputable marriage training program. Look for courses available through your local school district, nearby colleges, or religious organizations. 
  10. Count your blessings. Be thankful for your relationship and for the partner you have chosen to spend your life with. When we’re most critical of a spouse, we're unhappy with ourselves. Look for the joy and comfort you get out of your marriage. Try to put the negatives aside. Instead of focusing on his sloppiness, remind yourself how great he is with the children. She may always be late, but she's also good at balancing the checkbook. 

Building a strong relationship is hard work, so don't expect to reach your goals in one weekend, or after one couples’ course. You will learn as you go along. When you've been through rough patches and come out stronger on the other side, you can be grateful for the all of the times with your partner, easy or challenging. 

By Paula Hartman Cohen
Source: Eva Ritvo, M.D., psychiatrist and administrator, Miller School of Medicine, University of Miami, and chair of the department of psychiatry and behavioral medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center, NY; Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W., author of Divorce Busting and The Divorce Remedy; Scott Haltzman, M.D., clinical assistant professor, department of psychiatry and human behavior, Brown University, and author of The Secrets of Happy Families and The Secrets of Happily Married Men; Jill Vanderwood, author; James Campbell Quick, Ph.D., professor, University of Texas-Arlington; Debbie Mandell, author and Livestrong.com stress management expert; Dr. Donna Tonrey, marriage and family therapist at La Salle University in Philadelphia; Greg and Priscilla Hunt, certified trainers, Marriage Enrichment, Inc.

Summary

  • Put your relationship first.
  • Build a two-person team.
  • Set goals and also set up for challenges.
  • Get expert advice.
  • Count your blessings.

No life is without its ups and downs. When a couple’s relationship is strong, the highs tend to be sweeter and the lows easier to manage. In good relationships, partners use times of hardship to reconnect with each other, set goals, and define values. 

Pointers for couples who want to stay together, especially during hard times

  1. Put your relationship first. You chose the relationship so place it at the top of the list of your most prized assets.
  2. Make uninterrupted time to spend time together.
  3. Build a two-person team. A marriage is like a well-run business. It runs best when there is a clear sharing of skills and labor. If you build a good team now, you'll be able to handle tough choices later, knowing the whole burden isn't yours alone.
  4. Communicate early and often, through words and actions. Be clear with each other to avoid misunderstandings. Remember the importance of physical connections, too. Hold hands, touch, give massages, and show your partner you care in every way you can. 
  5. Minimize stress. Control the small stresses so they don’t build up. Consider taking stress management training as a couple. Once you know how to meet a challenge head on and get through it, your stress level will go down. 
  6. Compromise. Fighting when you disagree gets you nowhere. Instead, work together to come to a solution that satisfies you both. Respect each other’s views and be willing to give a little to get a little.  
  7. Set reasonable expectations. People are happier in general when they focus on what is good in their lives rather than on what they want. 
  8. Set goals and also set up for challenges. Be honest with each other—in a loving way—when you set your goals for the long term. Be proactive and decide what you will do if one of you loses a job or if your mortgage payment increases. Develop an action plan based on research and discussion.
  9. Get expert advice. Read books by marriage and family experts, seek solutions-based counseling, or join a reputable marriage training program. Look for courses available through your local school district, nearby colleges, or religious organizations. 
  10. Count your blessings. Be thankful for your relationship and for the partner you have chosen to spend your life with. When we’re most critical of a spouse, we're unhappy with ourselves. Look for the joy and comfort you get out of your marriage. Try to put the negatives aside. Instead of focusing on his sloppiness, remind yourself how great he is with the children. She may always be late, but she's also good at balancing the checkbook. 

Building a strong relationship is hard work, so don't expect to reach your goals in one weekend, or after one couples’ course. You will learn as you go along. When you've been through rough patches and come out stronger on the other side, you can be grateful for the all of the times with your partner, easy or challenging. 

By Paula Hartman Cohen
Source: Eva Ritvo, M.D., psychiatrist and administrator, Miller School of Medicine, University of Miami, and chair of the department of psychiatry and behavioral medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center, NY; Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W., author of Divorce Busting and The Divorce Remedy; Scott Haltzman, M.D., clinical assistant professor, department of psychiatry and human behavior, Brown University, and author of The Secrets of Happy Families and The Secrets of Happily Married Men; Jill Vanderwood, author; James Campbell Quick, Ph.D., professor, University of Texas-Arlington; Debbie Mandell, author and Livestrong.com stress management expert; Dr. Donna Tonrey, marriage and family therapist at La Salle University in Philadelphia; Greg and Priscilla Hunt, certified trainers, Marriage Enrichment, Inc.

The information provided on the Achieve Solutions site, including, but not limited to, articles, assessments, and other general information, is for informational purposes only and should not be treated as medical, health care, psychiatric, psychological, or behavioral health care advice. Nothing contained on the Achieve Solutions site is intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment or as a substitute for consultation with a qualified health care professional. Please direct questions regarding the operation of the Achieve Solutions site to Web Feedback. If you have concerns about your health, please contact your health care provider.  ©2018 Beacon Health Options, Inc.

 

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