Tips for Interracial Couples

Posted May 10, 2021

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Every couple faces challenges as they navigate life together. Interracial couples, however, can have additional obstacles to overcome. If you and your loved one are an interracial couple, talking openly and often about the following topics can strengthen your bond.

Your stories

The past: Every couple can grow closer as they share their personal histories. It is possible the two of you grew up with very different cultures and experiences. Be open with each other and accept how different your backgrounds may be.

The present: Couples also grow closer by sharing daily events and feelings. You or your partner may encounter racism, unfair treatment or other distress because of your race. Keep talking to each other about this and provide unconditional support. Listen well, even if you have never experienced such distress personally. If you are the one in distress, you may need to allow your partner time to understand your perspective.

Your kids

Do you have children? Agree as a couple how you will share your cultures and traditions with your kids. Just as the two of you will thrive with regular, open conversation, your kids need to be able to talk to you openly. They may face unkind treatment because of their mixed race. Or they may need to work through their feelings if they identify more with one race than another. Have a plan as a couple how the two of you will help your kids navigate such circumstances. Make sure home is their sanctuary – an environment of love and a place to celebrate each person’s unique, wonderful traits as human beings.

Your families and friends

You may be surrounded by family and friends who love and support the two of you. But what if you have loved ones who oppose your union? First, be open and honest with each other about your experiences with each other’s family and friends. Decide as a couple what you will do if a loved one will not accept your relationship or is unkind to either of you, no matter how you’ve tried to talk to them. If you can’t cut ties with the person, agree on ways to limit time spent with them. When you both have to interact with the unkind family member or friend, be ready to stand up for each other as calmly as you can.

Try to spend as much time as possible with loved ones who celebrate the love you and your partner share.

Your community

The two of you may experience unkindness from strangers because of your union. Agree how you will handle unpleasant encounters calmly and safely. Don’t let others’ opinions affect your well-being as a couple or as individuals.

The world

Unfair, unkind and violent acts happen to others because of their race. This tragic truth can influence how the two of you view the world and other races, and what it feels like to be you. Whether you are afraid, angry, ashamed or confused, share your feelings with each other. Try to understand each other’s perspectives and don’t minimize the other’s feelings or experiences.

Talk about what you can do together to help make the world safer. Get involved in organizations dedicated to building safe, inclusive communities.

Source: Military OneSource

Every couple faces challenges as they navigate life together. Interracial couples, however, can have additional obstacles to overcome. If you and your loved one are an interracial couple, talking openly and often about the following topics can strengthen your bond.

Your stories

The past: Every couple can grow closer as they share their personal histories. It is possible the two of you grew up with very different cultures and experiences. Be open with each other and accept how different your backgrounds may be.

The present: Couples also grow closer by sharing daily events and feelings. You or your partner may encounter racism, unfair treatment or other distress because of your race. Keep talking to each other about this and provide unconditional support. Listen well, even if you have never experienced such distress personally. If you are the one in distress, you may need to allow your partner time to understand your perspective.

Your kids

Do you have children? Agree as a couple how you will share your cultures and traditions with your kids. Just as the two of you will thrive with regular, open conversation, your kids need to be able to talk to you openly. They may face unkind treatment because of their mixed race. Or they may need to work through their feelings if they identify more with one race than another. Have a plan as a couple how the two of you will help your kids navigate such circumstances. Make sure home is their sanctuary – an environment of love and a place to celebrate each person’s unique, wonderful traits as human beings.

Your families and friends

You may be surrounded by family and friends who love and support the two of you. But what if you have loved ones who oppose your union? First, be open and honest with each other about your experiences with each other’s family and friends. Decide as a couple what you will do if a loved one will not accept your relationship or is unkind to either of you, no matter how you’ve tried to talk to them. If you can’t cut ties with the person, agree on ways to limit time spent with them. When you both have to interact with the unkind family member or friend, be ready to stand up for each other as calmly as you can.

Try to spend as much time as possible with loved ones who celebrate the love you and your partner share.

Your community

The two of you may experience unkindness from strangers because of your union. Agree how you will handle unpleasant encounters calmly and safely. Don’t let others’ opinions affect your well-being as a couple or as individuals.

The world

Unfair, unkind and violent acts happen to others because of their race. This tragic truth can influence how the two of you view the world and other races, and what it feels like to be you. Whether you are afraid, angry, ashamed or confused, share your feelings with each other. Try to understand each other’s perspectives and don’t minimize the other’s feelings or experiences.

Talk about what you can do together to help make the world safer. Get involved in organizations dedicated to building safe, inclusive communities.

Source: Military OneSource

Every couple faces challenges as they navigate life together. Interracial couples, however, can have additional obstacles to overcome. If you and your loved one are an interracial couple, talking openly and often about the following topics can strengthen your bond.

Your stories

The past: Every couple can grow closer as they share their personal histories. It is possible the two of you grew up with very different cultures and experiences. Be open with each other and accept how different your backgrounds may be.

The present: Couples also grow closer by sharing daily events and feelings. You or your partner may encounter racism, unfair treatment or other distress because of your race. Keep talking to each other about this and provide unconditional support. Listen well, even if you have never experienced such distress personally. If you are the one in distress, you may need to allow your partner time to understand your perspective.

Your kids

Do you have children? Agree as a couple how you will share your cultures and traditions with your kids. Just as the two of you will thrive with regular, open conversation, your kids need to be able to talk to you openly. They may face unkind treatment because of their mixed race. Or they may need to work through their feelings if they identify more with one race than another. Have a plan as a couple how the two of you will help your kids navigate such circumstances. Make sure home is their sanctuary – an environment of love and a place to celebrate each person’s unique, wonderful traits as human beings.

Your families and friends

You may be surrounded by family and friends who love and support the two of you. But what if you have loved ones who oppose your union? First, be open and honest with each other about your experiences with each other’s family and friends. Decide as a couple what you will do if a loved one will not accept your relationship or is unkind to either of you, no matter how you’ve tried to talk to them. If you can’t cut ties with the person, agree on ways to limit time spent with them. When you both have to interact with the unkind family member or friend, be ready to stand up for each other as calmly as you can.

Try to spend as much time as possible with loved ones who celebrate the love you and your partner share.

Your community

The two of you may experience unkindness from strangers because of your union. Agree how you will handle unpleasant encounters calmly and safely. Don’t let others’ opinions affect your well-being as a couple or as individuals.

The world

Unfair, unkind and violent acts happen to others because of their race. This tragic truth can influence how the two of you view the world and other races, and what it feels like to be you. Whether you are afraid, angry, ashamed or confused, share your feelings with each other. Try to understand each other’s perspectives and don’t minimize the other’s feelings or experiences.

Talk about what you can do together to help make the world safer. Get involved in organizations dedicated to building safe, inclusive communities.

Source: Military OneSource

The information provided on the Achieve Solutions site, including, but not limited to, articles, assessments, and other general information, is for informational purposes only and should not be treated as medical, health care, psychiatric, psychological, or behavioral health care advice. Nothing contained on the Achieve Solutions site is intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment or as a substitute for consultation with a qualified health care professional. Please direct questions regarding the operation of the Achieve Solutions site to Web Feedback. If you have concerns about your health, please contact your health care provider.  ©2019 Beacon Health Options, Inc.

 

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